I just got an email inviting me to a celebration.

Actually, it's more of an acknowledgment of failure than it is a celebration.For a few years I was on the board of directors for a faith-based retreat house. It was decided the retreat house was going to be for all religions, not directed to any particular one. All the programs and activities there would reflect that inclusive philosophy.It wasn't a popular decision with some. I know a few people stopped coming. Maybe more than a few.And perhaps the decision contributed to what is going on now: The retreat is closing. The building and grounds have been sold to a private individual.The "celebration" slated for next week is meant for closure - time for all of us to come say goodbye to a place in which we poured our ideas and energy.There's a unanimous acknowledgment that there will be sadness.But as people of faith, we also believe when one door closes, another one opens. We have no idea how that will play out. But we have faith to believe that when we go forward, good things will come.Failure comes to many of us. Sometimes it's an organizational failure like the closing of the retreat house.Oftentimes though, failure is personal. An important part of our life falls apart.Maybe it's a marriage that fails. Despite your good intentions and despite how much you work to keep the marriage going, sometimes it ends in failure."The hardest failure to accept is when your marriage falls apart," said one local pastor. He knows that through experience because his wife walked out on him, moving in with her new love.Sometimes the failure that comes your way is a financial failure. Maybe you've lived for years going from paycheck to paycheck, struggling to stay afloat.All it takes in a situation like that is for something like an illness or the death of a spouse that makes it impossible for you to pay your bills.I have one older friend who has had her home repossessed by the bank. When her husband died she found it impossible to keep up the mortgage payments with just her Social Security.My friend admits she is responsible for her own failure because she and her husband retired and bought the waterfront home of their dreams, not the home that would be easy to afford, she says.A different kind of failure can be job-related. You pour your energy into your job at the expense of your personal life, giving all your time and energy to your job, not because you want to, but because you have to in order to keep the job.But despite all that, sometimes you lose that job. It's hard to accept injustice, but sometimes injustice smacks you in the face.Sometimes the failure is something small. But it isn't small to you. Some parents have to watch the disappointment of their children when they they've been cut from the team. The parents grieve when their kids are told, "You're good. You're just not as good as others."While many would see that as having to cope with failure, it's also a teaching moment. Helping your child handle failure early in life is not a bad thing because it sets them up for what we call "real life."As we know, real life isn't always about winning. Sometimes we lose.Child psychologists say allowing children to fail actually helps them succeed.But most parents try to avoid that at any costs.I interviewed a high school basketball coach who said the hardest part of his job is dealing with parents who are enraged if their kids don't get a coveted position on the team."It would be far more advantageous to the child," the coach said, "if parents let their kids learn early in life that they can't always be the best."So, here's a question. What is failure all about?In my book, if you try your best, that's winning, not failure.Kids and adults both know we can't always control what happens to us. Sometimes we can't control the elements that led us to fail.But we sure can control our attitude toward it.Developing a healthy attitude for dealing with occasional failure can serve us well in life.Plus, sometimes what looks like a setback or failure plays out differently in the final outcome.Once, I lost a job I enjoyed. But that led to my getting the best job I ever had in my life. I didn't know that outcome would happen when I was feeling down because I lost my first job.It's just another example of the fact that often, what looks like a bad break can be the opposite.When things are tough, it pays to look for the silver lining. A woman I know was fired unjustly and is struggling to find another job.In the meantime, while she job hunts, she has taken charge of her health for the first time in years. She's also building a social life she never had before.I believe she will find a job and will be better off than she was before.Sometimes failure is only the prelude to a better life.Contact Pattie Mihalik at

newsgirl@comcast.net.