I am not someone who is normally envious of anyone else.

Instead, I am so grateful for what I do have. There is no room in my heart for envy.

Yet, this week I absolutely did find myself envying someone. She just turned 4 years old but that little girl has some skills many of us could envy. Watching Scarlet taught me friendships tips I forgot.

Scarlet has a beautiful knack for making friends with people of all ages.

Granted, part of that is because of her age. When we are young many of us don’t hesitate to reach out for friendship.

Maybe it’s something as simple as asking someone to come play. I recall plenty of times when kids would simply stand outside a house and yell, “Hey, you wanna come outside and play?” I did that plenty of times and perhaps you did, too.

What makes Scarlet noteworthy isn’t that she has an ability to reach out for friendship. It’s the intensity of her quest that amazed me. That intensity was evident this week when Scarlet was repeatedly rebuffed.

Scarlet’s mother, Danielle, often takes her to our community park where she can easily find other playmates. Parents can sit back and just let children be children.

As a little social butterfly, Scarlet often prepares for her park forays by packing a bag of toys. This week she packed cars and other toys. When she got to the park she was delighted to see three other little girls. Ahh, possible friends, she thought.

She approached one girl and asked if she wanted to play. The girl gave Scarlet a one word answer. No.

No problem. Scarlet went up to another little girl with the same question. She got the same negative answer. No.

Scarlet was undeterred. She saw other little girls playing a running game so she asked if she could play, too. They told her they were playing a game and she wasn’t welcome to join in.

At that point I don’t think I would have the gumption to keep trying. But she approached another little girl and asked if she wanted to play with her bag of toys. Again, the answer was no.

I must tell you, Scarlet is a bright, attractive little girl. She is pleasantly outgoing and doesn’t often run into rejection. When her mother saw what was happening she told her daughter she would play with her. But she knew the multiple rejections would bother her daughter. It was a teaching moment because she always taught her daughter to be nice to everyone.

Now she had to explain that not everyone nicely welcomes playmates.

Danielle wrote about it on social media, but only one other mother thought it was no big deal. She said it wasn’t realistic to expect every child to welcome playing with someone. She thought the little girl might have unreasonable expectations because not every other kid would welcome playing with her toys.

Rejection is part of life. And I’m sure Danielle took it harder than her daughter did. But it did open the chance for encouraging her daughter to accept that not every possible friendship materializes. What matters is keeping your confidence, knowing there will be other playdates, other playground friendships.

I wrote to Danielle complimenting her for raising a daughter with so much confidence. I’ve watched the little girl interact beautifully with adults and kids of all ages. She is a little charmer and I hope she keeps her outgoing nature. I don’t think having a bit of childhood rejection will affect her.

What that entire incident did for me was to highlight how I have changed since I was child. Like Scarlet, I was once totally outgoing. I probably still am but not in the same degree as my younger self.

Do you think children have an easier time reaching out to new friends?

How many of us would have Scarlet’s easy way of making new friends?

My mother used to say from the time I was young that I liked to talk to everyone and she thought I would talk to a lamppost if I didn’t have anyone else. But I don’t think I was as gregarious as little Scarlet.

When I watch that child in action it reminds me to keep reaching out to others. As the years go by I find myself doing less and less.

I just took part in a lighted boat parade where women I wanted to get to know were part of the 10 passengers on the boat. When the night was over, I was disappointed with myself for not talking more to the women. I have a lot in common with them, but instead of pursuing conversation with them I just listened to others.

In my defense, I think I’m not normally someone who wants the spotlight. In a group I tend to listen more than talk. I tend to open up more when it’s one on one. So I guess I’ll just have to wait for other opportunities.

In a way, that’s a cop out for me. As we get older, our opportunities to know new people aren’t that common. We have to do some reaching out.

Maybe I’ll think of little Scarlet and seek more friendships. But it won’t be as easy as it was when I was a child.

Email Pattie Mihalik at newsgirl@comcastnet