E went off to swim camp again this year, and what a difference a year makes.

Last year, I could tell she just wanted a change of scenery and to be in a place where no one immediately knew her as the girl whose Dad died.

It was a really good experience for her in many ways beyond just the swimming.

This year, however, she happily headed off with a group of teammates, and I could tell she was happy to be the kid who knew what was going on, and serve as the “old pro.”

We intentionally arrived after the initial check-in rush, and as we drove by the hall where registration was held, I pulled over and let her out to head in and register herself, while I went to find a parking spot as close to her dorm as I could.

No sooner did I pull into the parking lot than she came bounding over with her room key and ID card, raring to go. As I started to pick up her bags, she looked at me and said, “Where are you going?” When I said I wanted to help her get settled in, I could swear she looked disappointed.

As we set out to carry her bags to the dorm, she purposefully strode ahead of me, sure where she was headed and excited to meet up with her friends and get started, a far cry from the girl who bravely held back a few tears when I bid adieu last year.

As I watched her, it occurred to me that this summer has really been one of independence for all of us.

I had told A at the end of the school year, that we both needed to get used to him managing his own time and keeping his own schedule.

While I have had to rely on him a few times to help ferry his siblings to various activities, for the most part, I’ve let him make his own schedule. I know he has a regular work schedule, but I also want him to learn how to manage his social life, his health, and the demands of a job, before he heads out at the end of the summer.

I’ve been pleasantly surprised to see him maintain a busy schedule, but one that also makes time to have fun and spend time with his friends.

He’s also made time to reach out to people that he’s crossed paths with, several new acquaintances that he’ll be reconnecting with in the Fall on campus, and other local individuals that he wants to make sure he connects with before he leaves for greener pastures.

He has really started to learn about and value connections, and I’m glad he’s taking the time to grow his roots a little deeper before he spreads his wings.

Within the next few days, Driver #2 should be on the road on his own.

G has been studiously plugging away hours in the car, driving everywhere he can, making me crazy with ten thousand questions about traffic rules. While I always expected G to be motivated by his own interests: taking off to hunt or fish, or load up the kayak, whenever he wants, I am now seeing that he also wants the freedom to pursue projects on his own.

Several times this summer, he’s had a big idea that has had to wait until I had the time to take him to the landscaping center or hardware store.

While waiting on me has allowed him to plan a little better, or sometimes even modify the plan if he just can’t wait, I am pleasantly surprised that his motivation is not just self-serving.

I don’t think there are many kids who are chomping at the bit to get their license just so they can make another run for topsoil or more 2x4s for framing out his next project. It’s going to make me a lot less anxious when he finally heads out on his own, although I do sometimes worry that the planning going on in his head might distract him from the reality right in front of him.

Part of me knows that all this independence naturally comes with the territory of getting older and more mature, but lately when I look at my kids, I see so much self-reliance, I worry sometimes that they’ve forgotten how to be team players.

I worry that they’ve already lost one parent, and maybe they’re just preparing in case something happens to the other one.

It’s also very hard to make a statement to them that “I’ll always be here for you,” when they have learned the hard way that it’s not true.

The boys have been working on cleaning up the assorted watercraft that we have, including “the boat,” the canoe, and several kayaks.

We developed a better storage system for them, one that will hopefully make them all easier to use in the future.

As we were relocating the canoe from its old location, G insisted on hoisting it on his shoulders alone. When A grabbed the other end, G snapped at him that “he had it by himself.”

“But it will go better if we do it together,” shot back A.

As G settled the canoe on his shoulders, I had a flashback to the day Steve brought it home, and excitedly showed me the grove that allowed it to rest on his shoulders perfectly centered.

“I can go anywhere with this,” he said, running around the yard. I knew G was probably remembering the same thing and wanted to try it himself.

But A’s words summed up exactly what I hope my kids remember from this summer. Even though we can do it alone if we have to, “it’s going to go better if we do it together.”

And that’s the parenting canoe balanced on my shoulders, trying to get them resilient enough to do it alone, but to understand that things can always be a little bit easier when we do them together.

Liz Pinkey’s column appears on Saturdays in the Times News.