When we’re trying to get to know someone, there are some stock questions many of us find ourselves asking.

For years the question I heard most often asked was “What do you do?” Meaning, what do you do for a living?

It was a good question to ask because the answer tells us how we can relate to someone. It most often opens interesting conversation. Plus, I’ve often been amazed at some of the answers.

When I moved to Florida that question was no longer relevant. So many people here are retired.

Then, the question asked of newcomers became “Where are you from?”

Few people we meet in Florida are born Floridians. They come from all over the country.

I found a different question I ask when I’m trying to get to know someone better.

I ask, what do you do for fun?

Sometimes the question startles people.

“Fun?” answered the last woman I asked who was puzzled by the question. After thinking about it, she said she likes knitting, doing crafts and just started getting interested in quilting.

“I like indoor activities with air conditioning comfort because I can’t stand the heat,” she said.

See that. One question and I learn a little something about her.

That one question about fun also lets us identify who might be interested in sharing an activity with us.

A while back I went to a community luncheon to welcome newcomers. People were outgoing and seemed to be enjoying each other to the point where one woman suggested we all should plan to do an outing together.

One woman said she loves shopping, especially with a group of women. She suggested we do a group shopping trip. While there was enthusiastic agreement as they made plans for their upcoming trip, I silently thought one word: Boring.

Definitely not my cup of tea.

I shop mostly when I need something.

Like a clothes hamper, for instance. Can you imagine how exciting the enthusiastic shoppers would find that?

I suggested we might also want to do something active and asked if anyone was interested in kayaking with me.

There was absolutely zero interest which didn’t surprise me. For years I been finding it hard to find other women who enjoy the sport.

One woman said, “With all the alligators around here you have to be crazy to kayak.”

That definitely is something that’s off putting at first. I’m fond of saying there’s never been a case of a kayaker being eaten by an alligator. Unless you fall in. Then you’re called lunch.

No one thought it was funny. And for the rest of the luncheon I was all but ignored as the ladies planned their big shopping trip.

For decades my idea of fun was definitely kayaking. Whether it’s slowly gliding in a tranquil stream or being more adventurous doing white water kayaking.

When I went to a friend’s birthday party I finally lucked out when I asked another couple at our table what they liked to do for fun.

They said they loved to go boating, kayaking and dancing.

Bingo! I found some kindred spirits.

We had fun together until they moved away.

But then there was a one-two punch that changed my answer to the question of what I do for fun. First it was Covid that limited our desire to socialize in big groups. Then it was Hurricane Ira that commanded our attention.

I realized I had stopped having fun. Instead my time was spent dealing with insurance company woes and working with contractors to rebuild my house.

I became focused on what I had to do, not what I wanted to do. Soon that became a habit.

Instead of sitting on the lanai to enjoy our beautiful weather and listening to the birds, I’m thinking about what task has to be done.

How do we attain good habits?

We have to create a routine and stick to it. Most of all, we need to put some fun back in life.

My friends and I now consciously scan the paper looking for music and shows we would enjoy.

My friend Linda made a new rule. Stop saying no when someone wants you to join in their planned activity, even if it’s not your cup of tea.

My friend Jeanne and I are pushing ourselves to get back to more physical activity. It isn’t coming easily. Once you get out of the groove it’s harder to get back in.

One friend said once we are past our childhood we don’t have fun anymore.

If that’s true, and I don’t believe it is, we stop having fun when we stop looking for it.

Of course our version of fun changes over the years. One fun activity for me now is getting up when it’s still dark and driving to the beach so I can watch the sunrise on the water.

The wildlife that early in the morning is wonderful to see. Unfortunately I don’t do it often enough.

My friend Jeanne says every time we go to an uncrowded beach we tell ourselves we need to do it more often. But we don’t.

Well swimming season is here and I know we will be in pool every day.

So let the fun begin.

What’s your version of what you like to do for fun?

Email Pattie Mihalik at newsgirl@comcast.net.