"I've been hearing that word a lot but I'm not sure what it means," said one friend. She was especially perplexed when she was told she needed to develop more "discernment."

In simple terms, one can substitute the word "judgment" to understand the meaning of discernment.My friends and I talked about examples of times when we had to have the gift of discernment to do what was right for us.Sure, discernment is a gift but it is an attribute than can be more fully developed. Through experience and conscious thought, we can learn to have better judgment when it comes to people and situations.As one friend said, "Better judgment stops us from getting into one mess after another."I think I've always been good at discernment. But for the past few years, I know I have a little trouble discerning between caution and fear.When am I being rightly cautious or when am I being too overcautious?As the years go by, I find myself questioning whether I am being cautious or am I being unnecessarily fearful.Here's one example. After friends canceled our planned trip to Costa Rica, my husband and I decided we would go on our own. By that time all the April and May slots were booked but July was open.We wondered how the mosquitoes would be in the rain forest during the summer. After reading a lot online, I got my answer. Mosquitoes are pretty darn bad during the rainy reason, especially if you are doing excursions into the rain forest.According to Wikipedia, nearly 700 million people get a mosquito-borne illness each year, resulting in more than 1 million deaths.That's not a problem in this country, at least not like it is in the Caribbean.Yet my past tells me mosquitoes are not to be taken lightly. When I was 21, I almost didn't make it to my next birthday. After a vacation at the Jersey shore, I came down with a raging fever and was too sick to even lift my head.After a week of tests and hospitalization, the infectious disease specialist determined I had mosquito-borne meningitis.At that time, it was considered so serious that I was quarantined in my hospital room. That experience gave me a lifelong concern with mosquitoes.We opted to be safe not sorry and nixed our July trip to Costa Rica.Was that being cautious? Or was it being unnecessarily fearful?After we planned a cruise to Cozumel, Mexico, for my birthday, I wondered if potentially fatal Zika fever from mosquitoes was a problem there.After I read comments from travelers already there, I was alerted to the fact that both Zika and dengue fever were a problem. We were warned to take along the most potent mosquito repellent we could find.OK, I admit it. I was beyond cautious at that point. I think I downgraded from caution to fear. We took along three different kinds of mosquito repellent for our day trip to the rain forest. Do you know how many mosquito bites I got? Exactly one. Mosquitoes were just about nonexistent. All that worry for nothing.That often happens, doesn't it? We worry ahead of time about something that might never happen.I still think there is something to be said for being prepared. When is it time for caution and when is it time for fear?I often ask myself that.It happened again as I rode my bike to a picnic area where I planned to take a break and enjoy the water view. But when I saw five or six homeless men sitting under the picnic shed, I kept on going.I don't think twice about being around the homeless. I've had plenty of encounters with homeless people - all of them pleasant. Often times, the only difference between them and us is that they had some bad breaks in life, and often some bad judgment, too.At one point I was asked to work at a church-sponsored project that offered breakfast to homeless people in the area.There were some heartwarming happenings there. Some of the homeless men grateful for a cooked breakfast insisted on paying back the good deed by helping with the heavy work at the church thrift shop.I've met some really good homeless guys. So why did I pedal away when I saw five homeless guys under the shed?Call it discernment. I didn't like "the feel" of the scene or the look on their faces.It was just another case of having to judge when it's time for caution and when it's time to push fear away. I believe in the old expression better safe than sorry.Caution was called for again in Cozumel when my husband and I were walking around the town not knowing where we were going. When we saw we were walking into a dead-end alley with three guys eying us up, we got out of there in a hurry.Was that discernment, caution or fear? We both called it a smart move.While I regret that I am much more fearful than I was in my younger days, I still believe discernment is an attribute worth having.Contact Pattie Mihalik at

newsgirl@comcast.net.