When we arrived in Maine for our long awaited vacation, my daughter Andrea had a question for her sister.

“What activity are you most looking forward to doing?” she asked.

“Talking,” replied Maria.

What?

Andrea tried to ask the question in a different way.

“I’m trying to plan our week so I would like to know what you most want to do,” she said.

Maria gave the same answer. “I’m most looking forward to talking with my family,” she said.

“Of course we’ll talk,” Andrea said. “What else do you want to do?”

“I just want to talk with my family,” Maria repeated.

Andrea gave up getting any kind of helpful information from her sister so she went out to the lake dock to find me.

“Hey Mom, what do you most want to do here in Maine?”

My highly organized daughter wanted to make sure she scheduled sufficient time for how we most wanted to spend our Maine visit.

“I just want the joy of talking to my family,” I answered truthfully. I didn’t know how Maria had answered the question but we both gave the same answer.

Andrea was frustrated. “We talk almost every day,” she said.

Yes, but there’s a difference between touching base with each other as we go about our day and the kind of meaningful conversation Maria and I meant.

Usually, when I talk to my daughters, telephone conversation is often short and hurried. Andrea is often rushing to appointments with her interior design clients. Maria works from home but still has work deadlines to meet along with frequent zoom conferences. When I call them I first ask if it’s convenient to talk.

They never short-change me. If I want to talk about something, they always make time. But as someone familiar with the pressures of the work-a-day world, I recognize the difference between working mode and leisure time to share.

While they often phone, calls are often more along the lines of “checking in” with each other. Important, yes, but not soul satisfying.

My daughters and I are close and people often comment we share so much with each other.

We do.

But sharing is different when we are together for long, leisurely conversation.

Maybe it’s different when you live near family and see them often. When we just have a precious week or two with each other we deeply value our conversations.

When Maria and I were relaxing on the dock at one point our conversation floated back to years ago. I was happy she wanted to explore our feelings - feelings we didn’t talk about in earlier years. We both were gratified for the insight we gained from our conversation.

I don’t believe that would have been possible in telephone conversations, regardless of how long we talked.

One thing I learned over the years is that even if you are often together with family members you don’t get those important in-depth conversations if you are always busy with group activities.

It takes one-on-one conversation to really known each other.

My grandsons and I try to arrange one-on-one time. They tell me what’s going on in their life and I tell them stories about my past. I am all too aware some day I will be gone and they will never again get to learn anything about me.

They always make me laugh and they enliven every family get-together. Grandson Grayson, one of those people that make it a party just by being there, took time off work so we could spend time together.

I get to hear what’s going on in his life from his mother but nothing beats hearing him tell his stories.

I often joke that when Andrea was born she must have arrived equipped with a built-in, high performance engine with the throttle stuck on full speed ahead.

Always on the go, she thrives on activity. She equates activity with fun and it’s her pre-planning that sets our days of fun for her entire family.

To give us a meaningful Maine vacation, she put a lot of thought into taking us to quaint little towns and lobster shacks with the best lobster rolls.

She didn’t have to go far to take me to the Maine place I love best. It’s right in her backyard. Lake Damariscotta with its spectacular scenery, cozy coves and tall trees that seem to reach up to the sky is a nature lover’s delight, especially when viewed from a kayak.

Paddling slowly enough to watch the eagles in the trees and admire the waterlilies in the cove filled me with pleasure.

At the end of each day Andrea produces incredible healthy meals, with the best part coming as we linger at the table.

In our family the evening meal is much more than just eating. It’s a time for family bonding, a time for laughs, for discussion and for and story telling.

My son-in-law Greg is one of the most interesting conversationalists I’ve ever heard. It’s such a treat to spend time hearing him tell “the story behind the story” in his documentaries.

It’s no wonder Maria and I both answered “talking” as the activity we most wanted.

When you don’t often get enough time to spend with your family, long talks with those you most love is incomparable.

Contact Pattie Mihalik at newsgirl@comcast.net.