By Pattie Mihalik

newsgirl@comcast.net

Are you the same person you were years ago?

Do you have the same opinions, beliefs and value system?

When I asked some friends those questions, they were unanimous in saying they have changed a lot, mostly because they have greatly mellowed with the passing years. As they mellowed, their beliefs also mellowed, they said.

I like to think that as we mature and grow mentally, we do change for the better.

As we age we learn most issues aren’t as black and white as we once might have thought.

What probably hasn’t changed much is my value system. Things I highly valued decades ago are still important.

That was confirmed when Sandra Kokinda, a longtime Lehighton reader, sent me one of my columns from 27 years ago. What fun it was to see it. Thanks for taking the time and effort to do it, Sandra.

First off, I was surprised she saved the column that long. Then I was surprised to see that the opinions and values I expressed in that column are still the ones I have today.

The column was written in 1991, which probably ranks as one of the worst years in my life. Early in 1991 my husband had a serious stroke followed by three cases of cancer.

Yet it was a positive column on lessons I learned that year. Well, instead of paraphrasing, I’m just going to quote part of the column:

“I learned what it is to need people. I’ve learned I’ll never be able to pay back those who have been there for my husband and me through difficult times. All I can do, in return, is vow to be there for others.

“I’ve learned never to take what we have for granted. The ability to see, to walk, to run, to work, to move, to talk, to laugh — all these are daily gifts we shouldn’t take for granted.

“I’ve learned that ‘my church’ is more than a building, more than a particular religion. My ‘church’ is every member of the human race that loves God enough to do an act of kindness in His name.

“I’ve learned to love more deeply the good people who surround me. I’ve learned from them that love is a renewable resource. The more you give away, the more you have to give.

“I’ve learned not to be embarrassed to say ‘I love you’ to the special people in my life. Why is it that most of us aren’t afraid to show our anger or our disappointment with others, but we’re afraid to show our love?

“This year I’ve learned to be more forthright in showing my love and less demonstrative with my anger.

“On the other hand, I’ve learned less tolerance. I have less tolerance for those who complain all the time. I have less tolerance for those who complain about what they don’t have in life, instead of being thankful for what they do have.

“I’ve learned to be less tolerant of myself as well. I’ve learned that to be a better person, I need to correct the mistakes I keep making.

“I make mistakes by judging too harshly those who don’t live up to my standards. I’ve learned when I give people a chance, they sometimes surprise me with their inner beauty.

“In parenting, I make mistakes by talking too much and listening too little. I’ve learned that loving and letting go can be one and the same.

“The biggest lesson I’ve learned from 1991 is to love life more, every precious moment.

“I’ve learned that life is made up of moments. Not hours. Not days. Not years. Life is simply the moment in our grasp. I’ve learned to treasure the moment.”

As I read the column written almost three decades ago, I am amazed that I still hold firmly to most of the beliefs I’ve had back then. In fact, there is nothing I wrote back then that I would disavow now.

Unfortunately, the biggest thing that did change is how I look. I can’t ever remember being as young as I was in my picture that ran with the column.

Fortunately, as I aged, my eyes aren’t as sharp and I can’t see the aging process when I look in the mirror. Truth be told, I look in the mirror as seldom as possible.

I guess that is a major change from decades ago. Now I know that beauty is what’s inside, not what people see on the surface.

Ironically, when that note from Sandra arrived in the mail I was getting ready to give a major talk to a regional Emmaus meeting.

Getting ready for the talk involved going back in time to that fateful year when Andy and I had to deal with one medical crisis after the other.

But when I remember those days I also remember it as a beautiful time where I had so much for which to be grateful. I was able to have Andy by my side for 12½ extra years after his strokes and cancer treatments.

I remember those days, also, as times when God sent his people to help whenever Andy and I most needed that help.

Three decades later, I am still grateful for those who helped us.

Most of all, I am still grateful for every moment of every day.

Contact Pattie Mihalik at newsgirl@comcast.net.