My mother passed away 15 years ago; my dad’s been gone even longer.

Yet in several important ways, they are still with me. Poignant memories can bring them back to me in an instant.

And although they may not be with me physically, one important part of them that remains is their love.

That never dies. In fact, it grows stronger through the years. One reason for that may be that we tend to grow more retrospective through the years.

As time goes on out of the blue I may find myself recalling something I had forgotten from the past that reminds me of how my parents showered love on me. Each of them did that in totally different ways.

My mother wasn’t verbal or demonstrative about loving me. And for me, her gifts of love might sometimes have seemed like not caring.

For instance, she never told me to do my homework or asked me about school. If I wanted to excel, it would have to be my decision.

From the time I was a young kid she made it clear that she believed in me. She never second-guessed my decision about anything or told me what to do, as long as I stayed within her rules of conduct.

Once, when I asked her why she never objected when I told her I was going to marry Andy even though I only knew him a short time, she said, “You were always good at knowing what you wanted and making smart decisions.”

Her belief in me made me confident instead of dependent. By not dictating what I should do with my life she gave me the gift of discovery and the pleasure of learning independence.

My father was more verbal about his love, making it clear that he wanted to spend as much time with me as possible. Our hours of long talks helped shape me in important ways.

It’s hard now to think back without feeling their love. It continues to warm me long after they are gone.

I was reading one social blurb that asked us to name one unforgettable day in our life. Out of the many choices, I said it was the day after I married Andy.

As we knelt together in church and I was consumed by my love for him, I worried that love might be stronger than my love for God. But then I realized my love for God and my love for Andy were one and the same because God is the source of all love.

Some people are fast to tell me I’m wrong when I say love lasts forever. They remind me that many marriages end in divorce and close relationships dissipate. While any relationship can end, any true love that existed during that relationship doesn’t get erased because the past can never get wiped out.

One recently divorced man understands that. Although his marriage ended and feelings changed over the years, he said the divorce couldn’t wipe out the love they once felt for each other.

A few years back a very close friend of mine suddenly stopped answering the phone when I called even thought we never had a disagreement of any kind. When she threw a big party complete with a band, everyone was invited except me.

Two mutual friends said I must be angry with my friend, and they were sure I was harboring hard feelings toward her.

I said no, I love her. No matter what happens in life I will always love her. She doesn’t have do another single thing for me. I will always be grateful for her and the friendship she gave my husband and me during his long illness.

When he spent New Year’s Eve in a critical care unit, my friend and her husband arrived with lobster in a picnic basket. They said they weren’t taking their Christmas tree down until Andy came to see it.

The decorated tree stayed there until July when Andy was finally good enough to visit.

She and her husband stayed by our side through thick and thin, earning my undying love.

I don’t believe in the “What did you do for me lately” theory of friendship. As far as I am concerned I will love my close friend forever, regardless of our present relationship.

Three years after she stopped talking to me she finally came to see me, hugging me tightly while we both cried.

She never told me why she stopped talking to me and I didn’t press the issue. Again, mutual friends said I should insist on answers.

I’m one who likes clarity, but I still have no idea why she shut me out and no idea why she came back.

In the long run, it doesn’t matter. I loved her through it all and always will. I can never repay her for being there for me during the toughest time of my life.

Nine years have gone by since some unknown incident separated us. I didn’t understand it then and I don’t understand it now.

But one thing I do understand is the lasting power of love.

The love I have felt for people in my life will always remain. It doesn’t matter if distance separates us or if death does the separating.

Love is something beautiful that will always remain in our hearts.

Contact Pattie Mihalik at newsgirl@comcast.net.