For most of us, life has changed drastically during this pandemic.

What do you miss most?

I miss so many things, including being able to travel to see my family, meeting with friends, going dancing with my husband, Zumba classes at the gym and enjoying church activities that have all been canceled.

Our women’s Emmaus group led to so many close friendships as many of us got to know each other through our monthly meetings.

Many of us discovered that we can go to church each week and see the same people but we don’t really get to know each other all that well. We smile and nod at each other but we don’t have the chance to build strong friendships.

All that changes in the Women’s Emmaus where we develop deeper spirituality and friendships. Monthly meetings and small group discussions help draw us closer to each other. We call each other Emmaus sisters and we are that, indeed.

I quickly found my Emmaus sisters know me far better than those with whom I have been socializing for years.

Here’s why I think that is: Most of the conversation we have with others is superficial. We deliberately keep things light with most people.

I have been a member of one other local activity club for more than 10 years. We kayaked together every week, went out for weekly dinners and partied together for most holidays.

That’s a lot of time spent with one group.

Yet, if I asked those members to write down everything they know about me, most would only know a few basic facts. They would know I’m married to David, I’m a writer and I love kayaking. That’s about it.

I realize that’s true because we primarily have social conversations. We don’t share deep feelings or personal information.

Isn’t it like that with most groups? You tell me.

From what I’ve observed most people have to know you really well to open up and share personal information. And there has to be a level of trust established before we do much personal sharing. We have to believe what we say won’t become a topic of gossip.

The funny thing is many people comment on how open I am. In a sense, I am, but I also am careful about what I share with others. It is only with my handful of trusted friends that I am totally candid.

I try to remember if I was like this when I was much younger, or, if it’s something I developed as I grew older. I’m not sure.

But what I am sure about is that the older we get the more we keep things inside, waiting until there is a deep level of trust before we open up, so to speak.

What surprised me is that Emmaus isn’t like that. Discussions are often deeply personal because we have secure knowledge that confidentially is paramount. Nothing said there is repeated anywhere else.

Plus, just as you trust your sister to care about your welfare, we Emmaus sisters trust each other.

Because of all that, and because of the helpful coffee talk each month, we all look forward to the Emmaus meetings. We write the dates on our calendar and make sure we’re there.

Well, along came COVID-19, and we lost all that. To keep people safe, there are no church meetings of any kind, so Emmaus meetings are out.

We lost more than a worthwhile meeting. We lost the opportunity to see our cherished friends.

Thanks to one computer-savvy member, four months ago we were able to start Emmaus meetings on Zoom. While it’s not as good as in-person meetings, it does give us a chance to see each other.

My friend Jeanne and I often lament all that we’ve had to give up because of the pandemic. When I asked her what she misses most, she said Emmaus meetings.

Coincidentally our Emmaus talk this month was on the subject of what we miss most.

Our speaker surprised me with what she said she missed most.

“Smiles and hugs,” Dot said.

Always astute, the self-proclaimed “hugger” related that psychologists and therapists conducted studies on the value of hugs. They determined heartfelt hugs can decrease depression, boost one’s immune system, lower heart rates and blood pressure and increase our sense of physical and emotional well-being.

She noted a hug can express love, support, sympathy, understanding, solidarity or good will, among other things.

“It’s the wordless way of expressing so many feelings all found inside a simple, heartfelt hug,” Dot said.

For her, the lack of human touch with the enforced social distancing is the hardest part of COVID.

I agree wholeheartedly. What I miss most are my friends who are my support system, my joy.

I miss being able to hug them, to let that hug say I care about you.

Sometimes, when l do a newspaper interview with someone sharing an inspirational story, I’m moved to give them a hug. A hug can often say more than words.

The other day I saw a treasured friend I had not seen since the pandemic started. Instinctively, I gave him a big hug, momentarily forgetting about social distancing. Oops.

Yes, we lost a lot during this pandemic, and hugs are just part of what we miss when we lack life-enhancing human interaction.

Contact Pattie Mihalik at newsgirl@comcast.net.