Once upon a time, I had a friend. But I didn't recognize I had that friend. Nor did I think that friend was worthwhile.

Often, when we have something or someone, we take it for granted and don't give it much thought. Or, we have no special feelings for that friend.Until it's gone.Then we begin to know what we had as we look back on how that friend played an important part in our lives, even if we didn't know it at the time.That's exactly what I'm doing now with my friend, Routine.Most times, I took Routine for granted. Other times, I hated her.I hated that I had to do something at a specific time when what I really wanted was freedom - freedom to do what I wanted every single day.I wanted freedom from Routine.Fast forward to a period in time that is now mine. It's called retirement.I believe retirement is a gift, a gift that is given to us each day we open our eyes knowing the day is ours to do as we want with it.For so much of our lives we live by the calendar and by the clock as we earn a living. There is lots of routine and lots of structure in most jobs, regardless of how much other freedom the job holds."Work" usually means certain things have to be done according to a time frame or schedule. We have to get to work by a certain time and we're expected to work a set number of hours. In retirement, we are free from that routine of work - free to replace those hours any way we want.Some people struggle to fill their time when they no longer have the routine of work. Some hate the struggle so much that they end up taking a job of some sort to help fill their hours.My neighbor just talked about that very thing this week. Newly retired, he said for a while he enjoyed his freedom from routine - a short while."I got so bored with all those empty hours. There has to be more in life than golfing or sitting on the sofa watching TV," he said.He told me all that as a way of explaining why, as a retired electrical engineer, he is now working in the produce department of a local supermarket.After years of semi-retirement, I am totally enjoying my freedom from routine. I'm happily living what I call my second childhood. In many ways it is actually better than my first childhood, and that one was pretty darn good.While I often say a thank-you prayer for the freedom to choose how I spend each day, so many times I find myself questioning why I can't get much done.I work only two days a week meeting my writing deadlines for Pennsylvania and Florida newspapers. The rest of the time I can do what I want.So why in the world can't I get as much done as I did when I was working 40 or 50 hours a week?After giving that some serious thought, it dawned on me that by not having to stick to a routine, I limit what get done.My newspaper deadlines are set in stone. So I alter my activities to make sure I meet those deadlines. When there are no deadlines or time restrictions and I can do what I want, I'm not compelled to get something finished. I can tell myself I'll do it tomorrow.Most times I don't do it tomorrow because my friend Routine isn't there dictating what I should do.To tell the truth, I often don't know what day of the week it is on days when I don't have to follow a routine.Routine gives structure to our days. It dictates what we will accomplish each day.I've discovered having no routine can be as bad as having too much routine.My mother thought there was no such thing as too much routine. Sticking to a strict routine marked her days.Like many women in her time, she did the wash every Monday, hanging it on the line to dry. If it rained Monday, she didn't postpone washday until Tuesday. She simply hung the clothes in the cellar.Mom had a set routine for all of her household chores. Thursdays she cleaned the living room, Fridays she scrubbed the kitchen floor, Saturdays she scrubbed the porches.There was a time when a doctor was scheduling an important medical procedure for her. He told her he would do it Friday."I can't be there on Friday," she told the doctor. "That's the day I have to scrub the kitchen floor."She was dismayed at the thought of altering her routine.She also followed a strict routine when it came to cooking. I knew that every Wednesday we would have spaghetti, every Thursday we would have steak and every Friday we would have fish.I used to poke fun at her absolute adherence to a set routine. But I'll tell you this: She got a heck of a lot more done each day than I do.Maybe I need to see a little more of my old friend Routine.Contact Pattie Mihalik at

newsgirl@comcast.net.