A popular internet site recently asked the question: What makes a better life? Married or single?

I believe the feature was started by some women anxious to proclaim you can have a better life if you’re single.

While it made for a lively discussion, more single women expressed an opinion. And to a person, almost all said being single offers a much better life.

The only surprise for me is that talk shows and internet articles are still featuring stories and surveys about that topic.

It appears that the enthusiasm for a single life gets stronger with the passing years.

Anthropologist Derrich Hannaford said that more women are skirting marriage because of two main reasons: A negative relationship in the past; and the general belief that women better relish their own independent life if they are not married.

Another article proclaimed that women around the world are opting out of marriage, citing statistics in many countries.

While I can’t personally vouch for that, reading relationship statistics over the years clearly points out that as years go by, more women are opting not to be married.

One reason given was the high number of divorces and bad past relationship that is turning women off. Nearly half of the respondent said marriage too often fails to support what women want.

They point out that for decades men ruled the roost, but now attitudes are changing.

One statistic that surprised me was how the average age of women getting married has leaped from 20.1 in 1956 to 27.1 in 2020.

I was mentoring a class of gifted young students that had everything going for them. But some girls seemed to believe their self-esteem was determined by what their boyfriends thought of them. I so hoped they would see more of life before committing to marriage right after high school.

In my class, many girls got married right out of school. I think it’s safe to say marriage was a goal for many girls back then, especially those not going to college. I’m happy to see that change.

I definitely was the exception. I never wanted to be married. Never.

I saw how hard my mother had it trying to raise two youngsters with no support from my dad. She always put her kids first and I never heard her complain. But I knew it wasn’t a good life for her. It was nothing but strife.

I must have been ahead of my time because my goal after high school was a journalism career, not marriage.

One summer I was having fun dating a terrific guy. I loved cruising the Susquehanna River in his boat, and everything was great until he asked me if I wanted to be married.

I said, No, Never. No. He instantly got another girlfriend, and they were married in less than a year.

I, on the other hand, was loving my journalism career, enjoying dating with no thoughts of marriage.

It wasn’t until Andy came along that I changed my mind.

In our 42 years of marriage I never had a regret.

Right from the start I thought our marriage was a gift from God, and I never changed my mind.

I looked up to another female reporter who was my mentor and greatly helped me in so many ways.

But she cautioned me not to follow through with my marriage plans, warning it would end my career.

Instead, it enhanced my life, both professionally and in marriage.

Andy was a school administrator but he was also secretary of Pennsylvania Press Photographers. He used his photo skills to go along with me on my feature stories. It was fun for both of us.

We all write our own story based on what we think is best for us. I have always been grateful for the way my story turned out.

After Andy died and I eventually moved to Florida, my life changed again. Years later, after David proposed marriage it took me another two years to do it.

Someday I think I’m going to write about an older marriage and how different it is.

These two things I found: For me, matrimony works well. David and I also found that the older we get the more we appreciate sharing life with someone who cares. We can never take that for granted.

But getting back to the question of whether marriage is better than the single life, I’m sure it is different for each person, depending on your priorities and how well you picked a partner.

Both stages of life offer benefits.

I have an acquaintance who has been married and divorced four times. She things “marriage stinks,” to use her words.

Maybe it has to do with preparation and expectation.

Or, as she says, maybe it’s just plain luck.

You tell me.

I would love to hear your thoughts about marriage and whether your opinions changed through the years.

Email Pattie Mihalik at newsgirl@comcast.net