It’s called a charity fashion show but it’s a lot more than that.

I’ve been to plenty of events over the years, but nothing can compare to this coveted event.

It’s held in a big convention center that seats 500. Those 500 tickets are so in demand that there’s a waiting list to get a ticket.

Sponsored by our St. Vincent de Paul chapter, it’s our biggest fundraiser of the year. It provides money to fund our food ministry as well as financial help for hundreds of needy people.

A fashion show sounds like something frivolous, but there is nothing frivolous about the SVDP charity. It’s my favorite charity.

I have seen firsthand the difference it makes in many, many lives. I am just one of hundreds of volunteers, and I am in awe of how hard members work to help others. It’s a true passion with so many.

This year many of our members couldn’t attend the big fundraiser because they are still cleaning up after the hurricanes destroyed their homes.

To be honest, many of our members are also hurting financially, but that doesn’t stop them from doing all they can to help the charity.

As I was sitting at our table with my friends I was filled with the special warmth of being with so many good people.

It occurred to me then that there is great comfort in belonging to such a caring group.

I can only think of one other time when I had the comfort of enjoying a group of friends that met on as regular basis.

A few years back I did enjoy being close in a regular social group.

We all loved dancing and first got together socially when we all met every Thursday to dance at the Moose.

There were six couples that just seemed to jell socially. It got to the point that we sat together every week, saving a spot at our table for what became “our crowd”

I’ll say this: They were so much fun and being part of the group provided tons of social opportunities.

In addition to meeting for dancing, we hosted parties at homes, went to restaurants together and did fun trips.

David and I found ourselves drawn to some special out-of-town events with them and I was starting to feel like a globe-trotter.

Whenever anyone had a birthday we had a special celebration. But to tell the truth, every social event with the group was special.

I felt good to be part of the group. There’s a special feeling about being part of a fun-loving group. It’s the comfort of belonging, of having close friends who enjoy the same things you do.

It’s a good feeling to know your friends also look forward to being with you. They are eager to share events and they make sure to save a place at the table for our crowd.

But nothing stays the same, or so it seems.

There’s an old expression that says when one member of a group changes, it changes the dynamics of the entire group.

That’s exactly what happened with the group that once gave me such comfort.

When one of our regular couples moved away, they were replaced with another outgoing couple that seemed great.

They didn’t fit in slowly as most often happens. They took over from the very beginning, telling what they called funny stories and juicy gossip.

It was the gossip that bothered me. It was vicious, and I know for fact that at least some of it wasn’t true.

I didn’t say anything until they told a story about a local pastor they claim stole the money for the new car he just bought. I had just interviewed the pastor for the paper and had learned his father had just died, leaving him his car.

I had to speak up and I did, telling what I knew to be true.

No problem. The gossips that had joined us insisted the pastor couldn’t be trusted.

You know, I really enjoyed being part of that group. We had the same interests and it was nothing but fun — until it wasn’t.

After they told me not to accept a dinner invitation from another couple because “the wife was running around on him,” I realized I could no longer be comfortable with the group.

I told my husband I thought we had to make other friends. He agreed.

We never said why we were no longer showing up for their social affairs. We just stopped going.

Truth be told, my husband and I really missed the group. The old group, that is. But we weren’t about to make a fuss about it.

Ironically, when the leader of our dancing group passed away, everyone stopped going.

To this day, I have never found a social group that was so much fun.

One of my favorite Bible quotes says it best: “To everything there is a season.”

While I miss the fun of our dance crowd, helping the needy with our church group is a far better use of my time.

I deliberately contrasted two groups, the charity-based group and our dancing group, to demonstrate that not every “gang” is beneficial.

Be careful, and remember, “To thy own self be true.”

Email Pattie Mihalik at newsgirl@comcast.net