What do you want for Christmas?

Do you have a ready answer to that question?

I’m having an impossible time coming up with an answer.

With losing so much clothing, furniture and special decorations in the hurricanes, one would think there are plenty of things I would want.

Yet, I seem to have no desire to shop for replacements.

Material things have lost their luster.

My friend Chris says that’s because there is a big difference between “need” and “want.” He says maybe I don’t need any replacements.

Well, that’s not true. But when my family wants to know what I want for Christmas, I seldom suggest a material gift.

When the weather turned cold I was sorry all three of my warm coats didn’t survive. With an upcoming trip to cold Maine, I’m going to borrow a coat from a friend. That way, I can shop for a coat when I’m in the mood.

My family makes it easy to buy them Christmas presents.

We stopped trying for the element of surprise years ago. Instead, we are happy to be able to give gifts that are wanted. That means as soon Thanksgiving is over we start asking one another, “What do you want for Christmas?” But it gets hard for me this year when my daughters turn it around and insist on knowing what I really want for Christmas.

I do want plenty, but nothing I want is the kind of gift that can be put in a box.

I want a deeper level of peace and contentment and a deeper sense of gratitude. With all the turmoil of the past year, many of us could use those gifts.

Just the other day I saw new political signs in my neighbor’s yard. The presidential election is long over but he still wants to fight about it. He could use the gift of peace.

We all could. We need to instill more peace in our hearts, in our homes and in our community.

I admit I have a hard time hanging onto peace this year. I have to keep renewing my commitment not to harbor anything that dims my peace.

When I do my morning gratitude walk, I often acknowledge all the gifts I am given each day. It takes a long time to bring all my blessings to mind. Yet, there I am, asking for more.

This week I asked for something I never mentioned before. I asked for more patience.

I read somewhere that if you feel like you are being pulled in too many directions at one time and you can’t even get around to tackling your lists of things you need to do, perhaps the gift you most need is more patience, not more time.

So I prayed for patience.

Much to my surprise I was gifted the next very next day with more patience. When I lessened my expectation of others I lost the irritability that was creeping in when nothing was going my way and we were still putting off important things we needed to do. I didn’t manage to take much off my “to do list” but I felt calmer and more settled, less concerned about all that had to be done.

I’m always amazed when changing my attitude improves my disposition.

I think one reason why I can’t come up with what I want for Christmas is because what I am valuing even more than usual are the gifts without price tags. And I already have an abundance of those gifts.

When my daughter Maria laments that she doesn’t have money for the kind of Christmas gifts she wants to give, I tell her she gives me the most precious gifts every single day. She gives me incredible, unconditional, unrelenting love. She is never too busy to call and talk, and she keeps reminding me if I need her she will hop on a plane and be there in a few hours.

Why does she think she has to look for a big Christmas gift for me when she gives me the gift of love every single day?

I remember when I was much younger and would ask my dad what I could give him for his birthday. He used to say, “Love. Because when you have love you don’t need anything else. And if you don’t have love, nothing else will matter.”

Now I totally understand what he meant.

Sometimes, in spite of how we love each other, we have strong differences of opinion and feelings get hurt.

That’s when we need to give the gift of forgiveness. We try to give it right away so bad feelings don’t fester.

I often talk with people who tell me they had nasty words with a loved one years ago and they stopped talking.

One friend didn’t talk to his brother for several years. Before Thanksgiving, his brother reached out to him to heal the bad feelings between them. That phone call was an incredible gift because the brother passed away last week. While his brother was grateful they made peace with each other, he regrets all the wasted years between them.

I don’t need a stack of Christmas presents to unwrap. I already have the most worthwhile gifts.

May your Christmas be filled with warm memories and the opportunity to give the non-material gifts that really count.

Email Pattie Mihalik at newsgirl@comcastnet