We made it to midterms and fall break of our first semester of college.

Also, A would really prefer if I stopped saying the “we” part of that, because apparently, he’s the one who has been doing all the work. Which, I concur, yes, he has been doing most of the heavy lifting, and as far as he’s concerned, it’s going fairly well, with all bumps in the road ones that we, I mean, he expected and has taken in stride.

And, that’s really all he wants you to know about that, so I will only be able to tell this story from my perspective.

I think what has surprised me the most is how quickly his clock shifted and how his schedule no longer lines up with the rest of ours.

I’ve quickly learned that the best times to reach him are the middle of the afternoon, usually right around the time I’m trying to finish up work and start the evening activity schedule, or late night/early morning, like 1:30 a.m., the time when I’ve usually been asleep for four hours already and any noise from my phone still triggers immediate anxiety.

I’ve also learned that texts are for the regular stuff, but when the phone rings, he really wants to talk about something. So I try to make sure I answer it. Even when it comes as I’m chasing Duncan through an overgrown field on a pheasant hunt with G. It is hard to say things like, “if this is an emergency tell me what it is quickly, but if it’s just to talk, I’m sorry but I’ll have to call you back,” but I’m learning.

I’m also learning to send an “I’m going to bed now so don’t text me unless it’s an emergency” text before I go to bed.

We’ve gotten a little better about scheduling windows when we know we will have time to talk. But, life being what it is, they don’t always work out. I have also been told that I can put my phone on “do not disturb,” but that would defeat the point of having it available in emergencies, so that’s not an ideal plan either.

As a potential government/political science major, A has gotten very involved with campus voter registration drives and other campaign activities.

As he said, this will be the only presidential election that happens while he is in college, and he wants to participate. (Secretly, I’m relieved that he has no plans to make college a five-year activity.)

He has also taken advantage of opportunities to travel to other states, spending one weekend in New Hampshire, and another right here in Pennsylvania. He is excited to be doing this work, and from the photos I’ve seen he is enjoying it immensely.

On the other hand, I’ve had to deal with getting a text that reads, “bummer, the bus broke down and the trip is canceled,” and then an hour later, getting another one that says, “they decided to rent cars so we’re on our way! Yay!” That’s when the two parts of the Mom brain start fighting with each other. I know that this is the quintessential college experience. A road trip with friends, eating gas station snacks, cheap hotels, encounters with people from all walks of life. Above all, the independence to make his own decisions and be responsible for getting himself back to school safely.

On the other hand, my baby is road tripping with a bunch of total strangers (to me) at all hours of the day and night, to strange places, in a climate that may not be very friendly to the messages he’s peddling.

I’ve noticed that our conversations have changed. I’ve worked hard to help them change. I don’t want him to feel like he has to ask permission to do things. As they say, good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.

Being a parent means trying to allow some of that bad judgment to happen. It’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, but I try to position myself as a sounding board for his adventures rather than the keeper of the keys.

He alone knows what his course workload is and how he’s been managing it. It has been with a mix of relief and sadness that I don’t mind his schoolwork as much. When he was in high school, I always knew when tests and papers were due, usually because some household chore just couldn’t be done because he had to study. But now, I usually don’t hear about his assignments until after the fact.

I’ve also lost track of what practices or meetings he has since I don’t have to arrange transportation for him or coordinate his schedule with his siblings. I really only get to know about the parts of his life that he wants to tell me about, or the glimpses I see on his social media. It’s been a big adjustment going from knowing every detail of his days to only getting a snapshot every few days.

At first, I worried quite a bit when I didn’t hear from him daily, and then of course, I worried that it was because he was depressed or lost or unhappy. But then, when the check-ins did happen, it quickly became apparent that he wasn’t checking in because he didn’t need to, and he was also just way too busy.

I should also mention that I did get him home twice already, once was for medical appointments, and the other was over his fall break. The changes in him are already evident. The newfound confidence and independence, as well as responsibility, were evident as he spent the day with friends and the night working on homework.

We’ve had so many screw-ups over the last few years, so much doubt and confusion that I’m reluctant to rest on our laurels, but for now, this feels like one small thing that’s going according to plan, or at least something that’s going better than expected.

My Mom brain no doubt has many battles between its two parts in the future, and I’m sure some of A’s independent decisions will not pan out as well as they have so far. But if there is one thing I’ve learned over the last few years, it is to enjoy the good things when they do happen.

Life With Liz is published on Saturdays in the Times News.