I was surprised at what I was hearing as I listened to two women express their frustrations.

“It’s not fair,” said one woman, “and it has to stop.”

She said although she and her husband are both retired, she doesn’t think she is retired because while he plays plenty of golf she’s still tied down daily doing all the cooking and housework.

Her companion had a similar complaint.

“I have a full-time job and so does my husband. Yet when I come home from work I’m expected to hustle up dinner while he can relax. “Why am I the only one stuck with doing the cooking?” she asked.

I wasn’t surprised to hear those complaints. We’ve been hearing similar sentiments for years. What did surprise me is that’s I’m still hearing women grumble about “having to do it all.”

“Why do we still have the expectation that women are the ones who put meals on the table?” questioned one woman.

A while back I wrote a column about how expectations have changed for women. I said today’s couples are smarter than we were generations ago because more men are now helping with cooking, household chores and child care.

I got a little bit of negative feedback from a few female readers who said I painted a picture of helpful guys sharing the load but it’s not reality, at least not in their world.

OK, I need the help from readers. In your opinion, is there a generational change in expectations for women?

Let me digress a little to talk about owls. One delightful evening on a nature walk our guide told us about the barred owl and its distinctive call. He said the eight syllable call sounds like the owl is asking, “Who cooks for you? Who cooks for you?”

That’s the question I’m asking now.

Who cooks for you?

Tell me your experiences.

Do both domestic partners share the cooking, or, does it mostly fall on just one?

In your household, Who cooks for you?

I bet the answer is as varied as couples themselves.

Lately, I seem to be encountering more women who flat out decline to do much cooking. Some don’t cook at all.

I know that’s certainly true in my age group of mostly retired couples. Many retired couples do more eating out. Many build a social life based on meeting for dinner at one of our many restaurants.

Eating out is such a big thing that our local newspaper hired a weekly columnist to only write about local restaurants. With so many new restaurants springing up, it’s hard to keep track.

I love getting together with friends, both new and old. But to be honest, I wish our social gatherings involved more than all those restaurant meals. But I’m always voted down by friends who said it’s easier to all go to a restaurant.

“That way no one works hard and we don’t have to clear up,” said my friend Jane.

Just this week I encountered two younger women who don’t cook at all and don’t eat out too much. So, who cooks for them? Their guys.

One husband works two jobs but still has to cook when he comes home. I imagine dinner is often pizza or takeout.

Two of my friends found an easy way to have a cooked meal without too much effort. They often buy the cooked meals or frozen dinners now being featured at places like Sam’s Club, COSTCO and many other stores.

A friend of mine has a big store in the Poconos that has a very popular food bar. She said that little food bar brings in more money than the rest of the store put together. “People want takeout,” she said.

When I worked long hours at the newspaper I often had to resort to takeout meals. I seldom do it anymore because I like to cook.

I guess my daughters are right when they say I still have the habits ingrained in me as a ’60s wife. Plus my mother was instrumental in teaching us the value of good, healthy home-cooked food.

But I have to admit I take shortcuts now that my mother would never approve.

My mother thought it was unhealthy and lazy not to make your own coleslaw. For decades I followed her example by hand grating cabbage and making my own dressing.

Now, I just buy a container of coleslaw from the store.

Is it as good as homemade? Not even close. But I won’t spend time doing it for just the two of us.

It’s the same with baking. I always loved to bake. But after I moved to Florida and discovered some stores did a good job with their in-house bakery I stopped much of my baking.

I still make plenty of homemade meals that take a long time to make. I hope I don’t veer too far from the good old- fashioned cooking I learned at home.

So I guess I’m a half and half cook; half sinner and half saint.

How about you? Have you changed your cooking style through the years? What are the shortcuts and time savers you now enjoy?

OK, give me your input,

Who cooks for you?

Or, do you still do it all?

Email Pattie Mihalik at newsgirl@comcastnet.