Dear parents,

I am a former high school football and baseball coach with over 25 years of experience. I’m also a father of two children. My daughter played middle school basketball and high school volleyball. My son was a three year varsity baseball player.

As a sportswriter for the past 13 years for this newspaper, I have witnessed behavior by parents at athletic events that is concerning to not only me, but to the coaches and officials of every sport offered to high school students in our area.

A softball coach of 32 years was criticized for what one parent believed was an unacceptable remark he made to his girls’ team. The man has been revered throughout his tenure by his former players, his colleagues and officials of the game.

Rather than discussing the issue with the coach, the parent went to the athletic office to make a formal complaint and was campaigning for his termination. The stress has been causing him to consider retiring from the sport he has loved and from so many of his players who have loved him as their coach.

A parent shouted derogatory comments to a basketball official during a game. When asked to control his behavior by the athletic director, he did — until the end of the game, when in full earshot of both teams he screamed obscenities at the AD.

In another incident, a longtime respected basketball coach was removed during the middle of the season when his players complained about his coaching demeanor to the board of education.

There are many more incidents I could state here, but the point is that when you complain about coaches and officials, you should understand the consequences of your actions.

High quality coaches are difficult to find. They work on one-year contracts and do not make high incomes for their extracurricular efforts. They coach because they love the sport and they want to impart that love to their young athletes.

The numbers of officials in all sports are declining so much that JV athletic events have to be canceled because no one is available to officiate. Some Friday night football games are being moved to Thursdays due to not enough officials to cover the Friday games. The average age of officials in all area high school sports is nearing 60 years old, with some well into their 70s, and there are not enough younger candidates standing in line to replace them.

Most of these consequences are the result of parents complaining about coaches to their school districts and berating officials at athletic events.

The troubling result of parental interference may eventually cause the elimination of athletic programs. Ultimately, our student athletes may have no more sports to play.

When I coached, there was a specific protocol to follow if you had a concern about your child’s athletic participation. Go directly to the coach. Most problems are solved with him or her. If that does not satisfy you, see the athletic director next. If still unsatisfied, go to the principal, to the superintendent and then to the board of education in that order. More times than not, the problem is solved satisfactorily long before it should have to be addressed with the board of education.

I had a 24 hour rule. If you had a problem with something I did or didn’t do, I was not available to meet with you following the game. If you still felt the problem needed to be addressed, then you made an appointment to see me the next day.

Very few times did the 24 hour rule actually result in a meeting. Most parents thought the problem was not worth discussing after they had time to think about it.

During the ride home from practices or games, it’s not wise to belittle the coach to your child. He or she should learn that the coach’s decisions will not always favor him or her. Telling your child that he or she should be playing more doesn’t just happen. Playing time is earned during practices, and once again, the coach makes that decision. Authority should be respected no matter how the coach manages the team.

Adult misbehavior sets a bad example for our young athletes. They learn that when they do not get their way, they should blame teachers, coaches, officials, supervisors, and they can have difficulty working for their employment bosses when they don’t like being told what to do.

Our athletes should understand that coaches and officials do make mistakes. It proves that they are human just like the rest of us. No one is perfect, and that includes you and me and every other adult who is raising children.

High school athletic competition runs it course quickly, but the memories will last a lifetime. Twenty to 30 years from now, your child will not remember won-loss records unless a very rare championship was achieved. Losing is difficult to accept, but failure can be a great learning experience and builds character, too.

Your child might remember what he or she did in this game or in that event, but most importantly, he or she will cherish memories of friendships made during those four high school years of athletic participation.

The goal for every student athlete is simple. Have fun. Enjoy the experience, not just in the arena of competition, but at practices, on the bus rides, at the fundraisers. Feel pride representing your school and community. We, as their caretakers, have a responsibility to help them accomplish all of that.

The majority of parents are wonderful fans, but there is an alarming and growing number that are putting athletic participation in serious jeopardy.

The survival of high school sports depends upon you. Let our coaches coach and our officials officiate. Pass the torch of sportsmanship onto your children so that they can do the same someday with their own.

Email Rich Strack at richiesadie11@gmail.com