Lately, I’ve noticed that my kids seem to be a little happier.

I know in A’s case, it’s because he’s so excited for the next chapter to start at college, but I was having a tougher time explaining why E and G were also not quite as moody or confrontational.

Of course, I had all sorts of speculative thoughts, but finally, one of them revealed the answer. “I’m too tired to argue with you.”

This summer has been incredibly busy around our house.

Last summer, most of the house was under some kind of construction, and while it’s not quite finished yet, we were able to clean up the storage areas outside and reclaim the porch.

Getting our outdoor living space back was a game changer, and the kids have gotten enthusiastic about continuing the project with our old picnic pavilion and fire pit.

Steve had been using the pavilion as a boat garage for several years, since we weren’t being social during the pandemic anyway.

The original set of chairs around the firepit had rusted away and had to be upgraded as well. For the last few weeks, everyone has been cutting brush, stacking firewood, scrubbing and painting outdoor furniture, and in G’s case, working on an epic landscaping project.

Earlier this summer, I made the investment in a larger tractor, something we’ve really needed for a long time.

While it’s been a little nerve-racking to operate this piece of machinery at times, it’s also allowed us to power through some bigger ticket items.

G used it to dig out a few problem areas along the bank behind our house and turn it into a no-mow butterfly and bird sanctuary.

Well, at least we hope it will be, if we can keep the eighty-some plants we planted alive.

Although most of our work has been concentrated on the outside, E did a spectacular job giving her bedroom a coat of paint, and I’m planning on enlisting her help to give the hallway a refresh after she’s finished with the patio furniture.

I have three ancient chairs, which I believe belonged to my grandmother, who passed away before I was born.

I have painted and scraped them at least five or six times in my life, and I was happy to pass the torch to E. Although she was less than enthusiastic about it, she was certainly proud of the cheerful little corner of the porch she created when she put the bright red cushions back on the freshly painted white chairs.

As all these little and big projects started to come together, and you could really see an improvement around the house, I noticed that the sibling fights had started to decrease. We all started having more conversations and less arguments.

Subjects like “how many strings of solar lights is too many?” and “Mom, when can we go to Lowe’s again?” started to dominate the discourse. And people started going to bed a lot earlier, too.

G is using his electronic devices for the powers of good and has been searching the corners of the earth for unique solar lights to add to the garden. His love of chickens took a surprising turn when “decorative cocks” arrived in the mail, two heavy glass roosters that have taken up perches in the autumn sedum, glowing brightly as the sun goes down.

G had another garden crisis when he realized that the multicolor crackle ball lights he’d gotten, hoping to have a variety of colors throughout the garden, all come on at the same time and start with the same color pattern, so his flower beds all matched.

He has since placed them more strategically so that there is an interesting mix of color flowing at all times.

These are really good problems for teenagers to have.

Sure, we are still fighting regularly about cleaning their rooms, or doing the “regular” chores, but helping to turn out outside wilderness into a slightly tame menagerie has helped make them realize where the chaos exists and that we are all happier where there is less chaos.

Taking ownership of “making things pretty” has been a mood lifter for all of us.

I’ve been reading a lot about the negative effects of screen time on kids’ mental health, and freely admit that mine are all guilty of spending too much time scrolling.

However, my attempts to remove the devices or cut back on their use have not been very successful, like the time I texted E the list of chores that she needed to complete before she got her phone back.

It wasn’t until her phone buzzed in my own pocket that I realized that was an exercise in futility.

My kid have always had more than enough physical activity, thanks to the sports that they play and train for, so I haven’t worried about their physical health taking a hit, but for many reasons, I worry constantly about their mental state.

Physical activity alone isn’t enough to combat all the negatives that being zoned out on the screen all the time brings. Physical activity with a purpose and with a sense of accomplishment, however, has been a game changer.

The great thing about living where we do is that I will never run out of chores for them, and even if I did, they’ve gotten creative enough and ambitious enough to plan and find some projects of their own.

Of course, they’ve used their phones to research ideas, collect inspiration, and obviously, order just about whatever supplies or decorations they want from the internet.

We inadvertently landed on a compromise that has been a game changer for our family.

Liz Pinkey’s column appears on Saturdays in the Times News

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