My late husband Andy was brilliant.

This isn’t just a wife bragging. His IQ was off the charts and according to Mensa, his high IQ put him at genius level.

Just from reading a book he could do anything – build a new kitchen, install a new electrical system. Anything.

So it comes as a surprise to realize he had major deficiencies because of an old-fashioned belief system that shaped his life. And mine too, since he made all the decisions.

Way back in those days husbands were definitely the head of the households. I was just one of many wives that accepted it with no question or quarrel.

To tell the truth, I didn’t give it a second thought. It’s just the way things were.

So I accepted it without question when he told me his job was to work and support the family and my job was to take of our children.

I’m not sure how it was in other homes during that time frame but in our home there was no middle ground.

I always was with our daughters and I loved all the time I could spend with them. Andy, on the other hand, was always involved with work.

I didn’t realize at the time how much Andy was being cheated of something precious: time with his children.

He followed the pattern he learned at home with his ethnic parents.

While I’m a person who questions much, I never questioned our parental roles. Perhaps I should have but it never crossed my mind that Andy could never get back the time he wasn’t spending with our children.

What I learned later was that my children’s generation was much smarter. They certainly were leading more balanced lives.

Many fathers were spending more time with their own children, not because they had to but because they enjoyed it.

I was in awe when I watched my son-in-law Greg with his three little ones.

At the time he had a creative job with NFL films before he went off on his own as an independent film producer. During that time he also had a big dream. He wanted to create his own film and enter it in film festivals. It took 10 years of hard work but he did it. His moving documentary “Song Sung Blue” took many top honors.

The making of the “Song Sung Blue” documentary is a fascinating story that I will tell you at another time. But not now because today’s column is about finding balance in a career and family life.

While Greg won many awards and career achievements, what I marveled about him was that he never did it at the expense of spending time with his children.

I remember one crucial time when he was working feverishly to finish the documentary in time for the SLAM Dance film festival. There was a lot of work to be done and every hour counted.

Yet, when Greg’s daughter Sophie came to Greg for help with a school project he dropped everything to help her.

“Life is all about balance,” Greg said.

He is not the only one who found a successful career versus family balance. I think many guys found it. Many men discovered what they had in being able to spend time with their children.

While it’s never safe to generalize, through the years I’ve been impressed with how guys seem wiser in finding life’s balance than those that came before them.

That generational change might have taken some work on the part of their couples. But perhaps that helped bring about change and more balance within the family.

I also see positive change in the way woman no longer seem stuck in what is considered a traditional female role.

A few weeks ago I wrote a column about how my father and later my husband never tried to teach me basic mechanics. My father worked with my brother, teaching him mechanical skills that would come in handy later in his life. When I asked why he never tried to teach me those skills he said it was “because I was a girl.” I didn’t need to know.

One young woman responded to that column by saying “You’ve got to be kidding me! We don’t get imprisoned by stereotypical roles unless we let ourselves be.”

Well she’s right about that. But the time in which I was writing about had different expectations for women.

This week a workman came to finish a job at my house. I was surprised to see he brought his college-aged daughter with him and encouraged her to work alone with him. He took time to explain things to her as he went along.

I told her I was totally impressed with the changes taking place in today’s young women. Like many other young women her age she will have a career of her choosing and will know a bit about basic mechanical skills.

It is such a positive change.

We often talk about how many things were better years ago. In many ways life was easier years ago.

But perhaps we have to acknowledge roles are better now than they were in the past. My son-in-law is right. Younger generations have found more balance.

I’m curious. What has been your experience in traditional male and female roles? Have you seen much generational change?