How much do you compare yourself to others?

Do you look at someone’s “perfect life” and wish you had a life like that?

Do you think others have it much better than you do?

We all probably compare yourself to others a lot more than we think.

Our personal happiness can hinge on how much comparing we do.

Here’s a recipe for disaster: Look around at everyone’s life and think how good they have it compared to you.

First of all, there is no way we know the true life someone has. What we tell others is sometimes far from the truth.

There are those who put their best food forward in public. Nothing wrong with that.

We don’t have to play “true confession” when we talk about our life. We don’t owe it to anyone to tell them all our problems. I reserve that kind of honesty for my nearest and dearest friends. And even then I’m careful about what I say because no one wants to listen to a long tale of woe.

I am most open with my two daughters. If I feel a need to sound off about something it’s safe to tell my daughters. They are often good at giving me a new perspective about a problem. Best yet, I know what I tell them will be held in confidence.

But one thing is certain. We don’t embellish something until it becomes more fiction than real.

How many people on Facebook work hard to create the impressions they want us to have?

One young friend said she’s not going to her class reunion because all her classmates are doing much better than she is.

They have better jobs, nicer husbands, and a better life than she has, she thinks.

My young friend said she gets depressed when she reads about what her classmates are doing.

It never occurred to her that many people on Facebook paint a picture that is far from reality.

One of my relatives who has been dealt a bad hand for much of her life said she feels even worse when she reads about her classmates that retired early and bought their dream home. She, on the other hand, is still struggling to pay her rent.

I tell her just because someone has something great like a retirement home doesn’t mean they have a great life.

We judge by what we see on the outside. That doesn’t mean their life is so peachy.

A case in point is one of my very best friends will never know what it’s like to “have to make do.”

She has multiple homes, plenty of water toys outside her place and a stock portfolio that has more zeros than I can read.

She told me she can’t understand why some people in Florida have yet to repair their homes from hurricane damage. I told her it’s because so many insurance companies have yet to pay claims. And some didn’t have adequate insurance in the first place.

“Hmmm. That’s their fault. Why would someone go without enough insurance?” she said.

We don’t really understand someone’s life unless we first walk in their footsteps.

When some people see my friend’s luxury cars and palatial, waterfront home they may wish they had her life.

That might not wish that if they knew the heavy heartbreak that is my friend’s lot in life.

We’re all familiar with the expression, “Money doesn’t buy happiness.”

But do we believe it?

Do you?

There was a time when my brother would have answered that question saying he sure would love the opportunity to have a lot of money. He used to equate more money with happiness.

As I shared with you before, my brother found his happiness not in more money but in restoring an old cabin in the woods where he is surrounded with the wonders of nature.

The longer I live the more I believe that I’ve found a sure-proof recipe for happiness.

Here it is:

• Cultivate a deep sense of gratitude.

• Happiness doesn’t depend on how much you have. It depends on how grateful you are for what you have.

• Rather than looking at someone else’s life and wishing you had a life like that, how much happier someone would be if they were truly grateful for the life they have.

I can honestly say I never wanted someone else’s life. It’s not that I never wished I had what someone else had. The closest I come to that is looking at my neighbor who has eight brothers and sisters. No matter what goes wrong in my neighbor’s life her brothers and sisters show up to help.

When the hurricane ripped apart my neighbor’s home she didn’t have adequate insurance to pay for it. But she had something better - siblings who can tackle anything.

I was amazed when I watched her brothers and sisters on her roof, tearing off the damaged roof and installed a new one. I never saw women tackle a job like that.

I keep telling my neighbor I wish I had more brothers and sisters. But then I realize how lucky I am to have the world’s best daughters and a caring brother and sister.

I’ve learned to say thank you every single day for the blessings I do have. I can never say thank you enough.

Email Pattie Mihalik at newsgirl@ptd.net.