Many of the recent self-help articles are about “mindfulness” and the importance of living in the present.

“Mindfulness” is a popular term arising from the emphasis on living only the present moment.

It’s foolish to live in the past, we are warned, because it’s gone and you can’t do anything about it.

We’re also told not to be anxious or worried about the future because it’s out of our control. Chances are what you worried about won’t happen.

The only thing we can count on is the present moment.

Live that moment. Make it count.

Because the present moment is all we have. We can’t count on more than the seconds at hand.

I sure thought about that when I saw the Baltimore bridge tragedy on TV. One second people we doing something mundane like driving over a bridge. The next second they died in the horrific bridge collapse.

When I heard an announcer say four of the victims were members of the bridge crew that went on break it underscored how we have little control of life.

It’s not comfortable to think about how we don’t control our life. We feel better when we fool ourselves into believing we are in control.

One of my favorite expressions is we can’t control what happens to us. All we can control is our reaction to it.

When I read yet another expert warning us not to live in the past, in the back of my mind I keep thinking about what I say about living in a big city. It’s a nice place to visit but I wouldn’t want to live there.

The same is true about the past. It is more than a nice place to visit. Thinking about the past can comfort us, inspire us, and teach us something important.

Maybe it’s my age but I have to say I often enjoy thinking about the past.

When I was much younger life flew past me so fast I never had time to linger, never really had time to savor important events.

And sadly, I never seemed to have time to return in my mind to thinking about any monumental event like my wedding day.

There was too much to think about with the day at hand.

One of the nice surprises about getting older has been the warm memories that often come from thinking about the past.

So many of those I love are gone from my life. But I can bring them back in a comforting way through my memories.

No wonder they say someone is never gone if you can think of your memory of them.

The more years that go by since I lost my beloved mother and father the more I understand them, the more I appreciate having been blessed to have them as parents.

My mother was never one for grandiose expressions of love.

I’m a word person and always have been. Words are important to me. I admit there were times when I yearned for a loving sentiment from my mother.

She showed her love through her actions. She didn’t give flowery words of praise. But I never had to ask her for her help or assistance. She was always there for me giving me what I needed - anything except loving words or praise.

I remember the time I apologized to her for being such a brat when I was a teenager. I told her I wish I could have taken back the mean things I said to her.

“What are you talking about?” my mom said. “You were always a good daughter. You never gave me a day of grief.”

All I could think of was “blessed be a fading memory.” But Mom’s words of praise stayed with me always and warmed my heart.

Here’s what joyfully surprises me. Twenty years after my mother’s death I have flashbacks to something she did for me and I can feel her love again as if I just experienced it.

Memories bring my departed loved ones close to me. I never feel alone when I can once more bring my crazy, fun-loving Italian family back into my life.

I always felt blessed to be surrounded by “the five sisters” - my mother and her four sisters who could change any routine day into a party just by being there.

I still recall the way my Aunt Theresa used to say to me, “Pattie Chetta, sit here and tell me about your life.”

It made me feel cared for and important. When I recall that memory I am awash in happiness.

Author William Faulkner once wrote “The past is never dead. It’s always with you, especially as you grow older.”

I’ve found that to be true. As long as I don’t lose my memories of my loved ones I will always have them with me. And they will continue to bring joy to my life.

When l think about my past it fills me with a feeling of immense gratitude. I know I have had a wonderful life.

Whether it’s memories of my high school experiences or memories of my family life with Andy and our two daughters its like seeing a delightful movie.

It’s a movie that never fails to bring me pleasure and reruns are always welcome.

What have you learned about your life by remembering your past?

Email Pattie Mihalik at newsgirl@comcast.net.