Some years ago. I walked into a high-end restaurant in New Hope, Pennsylvania, and an attendant stopped me at the door. “I’m sorry, sir, but you cannot dine with us unless you are wearing a sport coat or suit jacket.”

I was dressed nice casual, but before I could reply to his comment he then said, “We have a room filled with an array of sports coats and suit jackets. You are welcome to choose one.”

The thought of wearing a jacket that who knows how many other men had worn just to eat in the establishment did not “suit” me well so I declined his invitation.

Growing up in the 1960s, I could not wear jeans or sneakers to my public schools and shirts had to have collars. Girls had to wear dresses or skirts. Once I got home from school, I jumped into my play clothes and ran outside.

In my Catholic church, appropriate clothing was similar to school attire and I remember girls and women had to wear something on their heads: a hat or even what looked to me like a handkerchief was permissible.

Easter Sunday was dress up for church and then on to Grandma’s house where I sat on the couch bored to tears waiting for my parents to go back home so I could get out of the dress shoes, slacks and white shirt. No boy likes to dress up for anything, but time and age can help him understand its importance when he becomes a man.

I guess it was sometime in the late ’60s to early ’70s when everything that was once considered appropriately required in certain public places became optional to how everyone dressed. The move to the casual look was taken to an extreme by some that continues today. I like to dress nice and even wear a tie when I go to a high-end restaurant, but I commonly see a man in shorts and a T-shirt and wearing a baseball cap sitting at the table right next to me. It’s just clothes that don’t define the person and feeling comfortable when eating dinner is what we all want.

Author Abhijit Naskar said, “Outfits don’t define your character, your behavior does. Great achievements are not from fancy suits, but from great minds. Only the shallow look at outfits, but the wise knows to look beyond.”

Recent studies would dispute Naskar’s opinion about clothes affecting character and intelligent minds. Put a tuxedo on a high school senior and a formal dress on his date for the prom, and these kids transform immediately into a young man and into a young woman. As an educator for many years, I’ve seen this phenomenon occur. The disheveled goofball who sat in the back of my class and looking like he just fell out of bed became a serious and handsome young man dressed in a white tuxedo and a black bow tie when he opened the car door for his prom date.

I recall a time when in the high school where I taught, one of our wrestlers was going to receive an award at a luncheon. I was called to the office and the secretary said, “His father died a month ago. He doesn’t know how to tie a tie. Would you help him?” His eyes opened wide and he had a big smile on his face. He walked tall and straight when he left the office.

The psychology behind the clothes we wear has been studied and the effects are quite significant. Gentleman’s Gazette reports that people don’t take us seriously if we dress in public like we do while we’re lounging on the couch. Studies also show that wearing formal clothing causes a higher level of creative thinking and confidence in decision making.

A different result of the study says that wearing formal clothes every day to the job or to school actually works against better thinking. It’s the change from formal to informal and back again that improves how we feel about ourselves and how others perceive us as not to be a one look kind of person.

Nobody wants to be stereotyped based upon the clothes they wear, but the fact is how we dress triggers an undeniable first impression. Even in classic fairy tales, it’s true. When Cinderella’s clothes were changed from rags to a beautiful gown, she is greeted at the ball with awe instead of disdain.

Older kids today are very concerned about the style of clothes they wear right on down to the name of the brand of sneakers they have on their feet. What they wear and even what we wear is an outward expression of our personalities.

When I wear a tie to a nice place for dinner, it’s not to impress anyone or gain respect from others. It’s to respect the environment as well as feel good about looking proper with the white table cloth and the crystal wine glasses.

My prom and wedding days are long past and I hope not to take out a tie for another funeral. Yet, if it’s a special holiday, a classy restaurant or if I’m about to have a gourmet dinner I’ve made in my own home with my special someone, off come my couch clothes and on goes a dressy shirt, black pants, black shoes and of course, for the finishing touch, I’ll put on a tie. The moment becomes extra special, right on down to the flicker of the candles I place upon the table.

Rich Strack can be reached at richiesadie11@gmail.com