When it comes to our happiness, what matters most-a successful career or a successful marriage?

New York Times columnist David Brooks sparked debate about that after he published a column proclaiming that for ultimate happiness marriage matters more than career.

“My strong advice is to obsess less about your career and to think more about marriage,” he said.

He believes parents put too much emphasis on their children getting financially independent, instead of having a happy marriage.

His advice flies in the face of today’s well established trend of what young adults strive for.

University of Virginia professor Brad Wiilcox said research shows 75 percent of adults aged 18 to 40 believe making a good living is crucial to finding fulfillment in life while only 32 percent believe marriage is crucial to finding fulfillment.

So, where do you stand on the question of what is more important for a fulfilling life - a satisfying career or a satisfying marriage.?

I personally believe both are needed for total fulfillment. But that’s in a perfect world. What if we had to pick one - career or marriage. What would you pick?

I’ve seen plenty of couples start off with a great marriage but the marriage crumbled under financial pressures.

Who can be happy if they can’t pay their bills?

The New York Times article generated a backlash of negative opinion from those who find his article to be off base.

The strange thing for me is that he thinks parents push their children to put too much emphasis on career goals.

“Intimate relationships, not careers, are the core of life,” he said.

While everyone might want both, if forced to pick one, age probably enters into that choice.

Younger people are more stary-eyed about marriage while older couples are putting marriage off.

Pew research shows that by 2020 marriage has reached an all-time low, with only 29 percent of couples believing it’s important to be married.

Do you know what makes a determining factor for those who opt for marriage?

It’s age.

The older we get, the more we value companionship. But for many, that doesn’t necessarily mean marriage.

Our views and opinions are shaped by experience. Because of what I have personally experienced and what I have learned from those I’ve interviewed through the decades, I have strong views about the need to be able to support yourself.

Yes, it’s great if you have a husband who supports you. But a woman needs to have a backup plan.

My friend Penny is currently trying to cope with finding a way to support herself.

For 20 years she and her husband had a good life. He had a high income that allowed them to have a home on the water and plenty of luxuries.

After they married her job was only to take care of their twin sons.

Now the twins are in college and her husband has left her for his new love interest. He knew how to tie up their marital assets in a way that left Penny without a means of support while they duke it out in court.

She now has to find a job to support herself. But with no real experience for a better paying job she struggles to do that.

Now she wishes she would have made different choices.

I hear that story so many times.

From what I’ve observed with my own family and friends, I’ve always known a woman needs a career she can fall back on.

When my husband was hit with three kinds of cancer and two debilitating strokes if I didn’t have a job with benefits we wouldn’t even have been able to pay for medical treatments.

Divorce, illness and death of a spouse are all pitfalls for a woman who all of a sudden finds herself needing a way of supporting herself.

I feel strongly about always having a backup plan. I also feel strongly that New York Times columnist David Brooks is short-sighted when he says we can best find fulfillment in marriage, not in a career.

The Pew research is right on target in reporting it is primarily younger women with no college education who opt for an early marriage.

For years I’ve been trying to mentor Sarah, a beautiful, bright young woman who earned a fully paid scholarship to a first- rate college.

At 19, she decided to give up her scholarship to live with her boyfriend at his naval base.

She has no idea she’s giving up more than a scholarship. She’s also might be giving up the chance for a better life.

Am I being too harsh in my judgment?

When I was her age I was helped by a sharp newspaper woman who mentored me.

After I married at 22 she told me I was throwing my journalism career away by getting married.

She was wrong. I am forever grateful for my highly satisfying newspaper career that has always brought me joy.

I’ve interviewed my friends asking in their own personal experience, what ranks as most rewarding, marriage or career?

All but one said marriage and family tops any kind of career. Even the men agreed, saying they spent too much time on building their career.

Only my friend Jeanne said women need both to survive the bumps in life.

Tell me your opinion.

Contact Pattie Mihalik at newsgirl@comcast.net