Did you ever notice that every time the electric company or the turnpike commission requests rate increases, they get approved? The Public Utility Commission recently approved a large increase in consumer electric bills. According to the site, Electric Choice, “There are many reasons why utilities may request a rate change. The most common reason given is the fact that they often need to make repairs, updates, etc. to existing equipment and that cost trickles down to the consumer. Sometimes the rates are increased in order to keep up with cost of living, as well as changes in weather and environment.”

Last May PPL Electric Company had a 38% increase request approved.

Their reason for the spike was “inflation, global economic events, and increases in energy costs.” In an attempt to soften the blow on their already budget crunching customers, PPL’s Alana Roberts said, “In current dollars (not adjusted for inflation), this is the highest residential price to compare since the default rate began being offered in 2006.”

Now. I’m pretty certain that you and I have no idea what she meant by “the default rate” and perhaps that was her intent. She also wants to make us to feel they deserve this current rate hike that she says has not occurred in 16 years. Maybe I should send them a thank-you note for that. Instead, I’m thinking if I sent her my personal approval request, she might reduce my electric bill. This is what I’d say.

“Dear Ms. Roberts - Since 2006, my income has not increased by 38 percent and because of inflation and global economic events and of course, the cost of living, I am formally requesting that you do not raise my electric bill rate. In current dollars, I must budget my money to pay for many other necessary living expenses.”

Now the Pennsylvania Turnpike Commission raised tolls for the 15th consecutive year - %5 increase goes into affect in January. It appears to me that the Turnpike Commission gets to approve its own toll increases.

“It’s worth noting that, even with these ongoing annual increases, our per-mile toll rate continues to be below the midline compared with other rates of US tolling agencies,” turnpike CEO Mark Compton said. “As an organization, I am proud of the fact that we work hard to manage the debt placed upon us by prudent borrowing decisions and restricting operating - budget growth …. But a measure of relief is under way, and motorists can expect a level of increases to ease in a few years.”

Let me see if I can translate his words to my understanding. Your increases of tolls for the past 15 years are below other tolling agencies? If it’s worth noting as you say, would you care to give us some examples? Then you said you are proud of your organization for “restricting operating budget growth” and it’s “a measure of relief” that we can expect “a level of increases to ease in a few years.” To me that means we can expect more rate hikes for next year and maybe the year after too. What if I wrote a letter to him to approve of my request for no toll increase.

“Dear Mr. Compton, It’s worth noting that even with me barely keeping up with my vehicular travel expenses based upon the rising cost of fuel, I am also working hard to try and manage my debts of buying groceries, paying my utility bills, and driving down your roadways. How about you approve of ‘a measure of relief’ and you do not raise tolls this year and next year as well.”

If I can’t lower my electric or turnpike debt, then maybe I should try writing letters to grocery producers and ask why a bottle of ketchup costs six bucks or why a bag of 25 frozen shrimp is on sale for $15.99 or if I want to buy two New York strip steaks, I will need to fork over $28.50.

In the search for a measure of relief, I wonder why the price tag for college tuition can be 60 grand a year. Used cars with 150,000 miles are selling for $19,000. The other day, I mailed a single piece of paper overnight at the cost of $27.50 and when the postal clerk asked me if there were any firearms, illegal drugs, or dangerous substances in the envelope, I looked at him and said, “Not yet, but I’m going home and getting my hand gun, some marijuana and a little bit of arsenic to throw in the envelope. Then I can get my money’s worth.”

A brand new washing machine that I got just the other day worked for exactly one load before it broke down and after one service call, I used it again and the tub shook so loud I thought the roof was going to blow off my house. I called for service again and they said the next available date is Oct. 28. I asked if they might send me some quarters in the meantime so I can wash my clothes at the laundry mat.

My new dryer came with a USB port so I can plug in my computer. I have no use for the dryer because I can’t wash my clothes but at least I can charge my laptop.

I think I’m going to shut off the electricity to my house, never drive my car again, wear the same clothes every day, stop eating, and tell my son he’s not going to college. Then I’m going to ask the Times News to approve a 38 percent increase in my pay due to changes in the weather and in my environment.

After all that, I just might get “a measure of relief.”

Rich Strack can be reached at richiesadie11@gmail.com.