With all the negative political ads on TV, you have to wonder if anyone running for office has respect for what used to be a professional decorum of the election process.

Imagine if these character assassinations occurred against some of our most heralded presidents, especially those faces carved into Mount Rushmore. Imagine further, if you will, to think that throwing mud at these men during election campaigns like it’s done now could have changed the course of history, and the faces of George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln and Theodore Roosevelt might never have been chiseled into that famous rock in South Dakota.

Let’s pretend what negative campaign ads might look like back in their day. I’ve done some research from several historians’ archives to add to the character assassinations of these famous fellows on what we might call Mount Mudmore instead of Mount Rushmore.

What if John Adams, who was the first American vice president before eventually ascending to the presidency, ran a negative campaign disparaging the first man chosen to the highest office in the land? Here’s what Adams might have said.

“George Washington - a battle buffoon. He lost more fights than he won and you can look that up. He senselessly risked his men by jamming them into a small boat rowing across the Delaware River on a brutally frigid cold Christmas Day when they all should have been in their warm homes with their families. And this he says was to surprise the British, but his careless act surprised no one more than his tired and cold men.

“When asked about the moral dilemma of slavery, Ol’ George wavers. He owns his fair share of slaves for sure, but he has gone on record saying that keeping any man against his will is wrong. Here’s what else is plain old wrong about Georgy Boy. He likes his women, but don’t tell Martha. His first love was his best friend’s wife and his roving eyes seem to be everywhere in a room full of ladies. He has no biological children at least not with Martha, but his campaign speech to want to be the father of our country just might hold another meaning that has nothing to do with his political ambitions. George Washington - a failure as a general and a failure as a husband. He’s wrong for his troops, wrong for his wife, and he’s wrong for America.”

Here’s some more mud that Adams might have thrown at Thomas Jefferson during their presidential campaign of 1800.

“Mr. Jefferson writes the powerful words, ‘all men are created equal,’ but that must not include the 700 slaves he owns on his Virginia plantation and especially those he has beaten for their disobedience. Apparently, these men are not created equally enough to be equal to him. And what about Miss Sally Hemings, the 14-year-old slave who gave birth to six of his children? Jefferson made it clear that no one should ever consider Miss Sally as his wife and he has refused to grant her freedom.

“Mr. Jefferson hurls insults at George Washington accusing him of being secretly allied to the British, a vile act of treason. And then he was unhappy with changes made to the Declaration of independence, the most important document in all of the struggle to gain freedom because Congress deleted his words about keeping the slave trade. He is trying to swing this election in his favor with lies about his own character. Thomas Jefferson - hypocrite, liar, and child abuser. He’s wrong to preserve our freedom and he’s wrong for president of America.”

Stephen A. Douglas might have slung these mud pies at Abe in the election of 1860. “Abraham Lincoln - business failure in 1833, nervous breakdown three years later. Lost four elections including his run for the Senate in 1854. And now he thinks he can be president? Don’t let him fool you into thinking he cares about the slaves. That’s just political propaganda to try to gain favor with his constituents. He’s a procrastinator fighting his own demons of depression. Abraham Lincoln - unstable, untrustworthy and underwhelming. He’s wrong for Congress, wrong for the Senate and wrong for America.”

In 1904, Democratic nominee Alton B. Parker was trying to unseat President Theodore Roosevelt. Here’s what he might have dug up on the legendary Rough Rider.

“Mr. Roosevelt has shown little regard as a cooperative leader of our government. Too many mindless executive orders bypassing consent of the Congress. He also once said, ‘The only good Indian is a dead Indian,’ showing no respect for the original settlers of our country. And while our country has such pressing needs both here and abroad, Mr. Roosevelt spends idle time killing African big game, drinking mint juleps in the White House and cursing up a storm to anyone who dares approach him with a serious matter. Theodore Roosevelt - unworthy, undignified, and uncompassionate. Wrong for the future. Wrong for the present. Wrong for America.”

Of course, anyone who runs for a national office today is strip searched down to that moment when he or she grabbed a cookie out of the hand of a crying little classmate in kindergarten. Yet we have to ask the question, “Who’s throwing the stones?”

At a very young age, I was told, “If you have nothing nice to say about someone, then don’t say anything at all.” It seems to me that if we would all follow that advice, the silence in this country would be deafening.

Rich Strack can be reached at richiesadie11@gmail.com.