Maybe I just want to see the undeniable truth in product advertising that we unwillingly watch on our television screens. Let’s face the facts. Many commercials are misleading or just downright dumb when they show us an extraordinary value of what they’re selling to the very ordinary lives most of us live. I have actually found myself talking to the TV and saying, “That’s ridiculous,” or “Nobody can be that happy using what you’re selling.”

That must tell you that I’m either crazy or just a little obsessed about things that don’t matter to most people. Anyway, here’s my rant about TV ads that make me want to stick a needle in my eye.

I’ll begin with a recent commercial where a young couple stands outside in the snow. He tells her that he got her something for Christmas. He whistles, and bolting through the snow is a cute puppy spaniel of some sort. Really? No puppy that does not yet know his master is going to run into the arms of someone he’s never even seen before, but this little pooch jumps right into her arms.

The worst part of this commercial comes next. She tells her man that she got him something, too. She whistles, and charging through the snow is a huge, brand-new pickup truck that looks to retail for about $40,000 or more.

C’mon, man! Now, I get I that this commercial is supposed to make us smile. How better can it be than to get a puppy and a truck for Christmas, but I’d add one slap of reality at the end of the ad. As the man’s eyes open in surprise and his smile widens when he sees the truck, she should say to him. “Don’t you just love it? You know I couldn’t afford to buy it, so you, my sweetie, get the five-year payments of only $600 a month!”

Speaking of car and truck TV commercials, stop showing us vehicles rambling past desert cactus, kicking up sand on island beaches, and driving up wilderness mountain passes.

C’mon, man! No one drives their cars or trucks anywhere near these places. Show me the car driving along a boring highway. Show me this monster four-wheeler chugging through a packed shopping mall parking lot while the driver looks for a space big enough for his truck that’s the size of a small tank.

I have a little problem with these prescription medicine commercials you see about every 10 minutes, or so it seems. One drug advertised treats fibromyalgia and nerve pain, the latter of which I have. It shows a smiling and happy woman enjoying time with her husband and playing with her children. Then the narrator speaks of the possible side effects. “This drug may cause serious and life-threatening allergic reactions. It may cause swelling of your face, mouth, lips, tongue and gums, raise blisters and cause trouble breathing. Call your doctor immediately if you are experiencing depression, anxiety, bursts of anger, or suicidal thoughts.”

As you listen to the long list of horrific possible side effects, the woman continues to smile and enjoy her family. Here’s where my distorted sense of humor comes in. Show me her smiles change with a swollen face and lips. Let me see a burst of anger. She pushes her husband to the ground and flees into the house with her crying kids running behind her. Show me her desperate husband calling the doctor. C’mon, man! Don’t show me a smiling woman at the same time she might be thinking of killing herself!

And stop showing me these sub sandwich TV ads where a guy picks one up with so much meat and everything else piled inside that he can barely get his hand around the bread.

C’mon, man! The truth is that when you buy the sandwich, you can barely see anything protruding outside the bread and in fact, the one my son bought the other day was so squished together, it looked like somebody sat on top of it.

How about the ad where an entire family of four runs out of their holiday decorated, fireplace roaring, home to buy cellphones? And how dumb do these phone companies think we are when they tell us they will pay off the debt on the phone we own now? C’mon, man! We know you’re going to jack up the ancillary charges on the new phone so we’ll still pay the debt off the old phone.

How about the young couple who meet at a party, frolic through the ocean surf and just when they are about to kiss, she hears a bell, leaves him standing there, and runs to a fast-food joint to eat a taco. It’s so stupid that it’s funny, but c’mon man! Would anybody run from a romantic moment for a taco? OK, my bad, somebody reading this is probably thinking, “I would!”

Throw together all those TV and radio commercials that try to lure us with their sale pitches of 50% off, buy two, get one free, free shipping on all orders, or “was $99, now only $39.99! C’mon, man! Unless your stores are closing and you’re liquidating the inventory, you’ve spiked your retail prices to cover the percentage off and the “was $99” number was a made-up price to get us to think what the product is really worth and we all know that it’s not worth a hundred bucks.

If you think I’m too smart to buy any of these products, you’re almost right. I confess that I did buy one of those squished sub sandwiches and I bought one of those cool cars that drives through the ocean surf spraying white foam into the air.

C’mon, man. Don’t get on my case. I have to eat and own a car, don’t I?

Rich Strack can be reached at richiesadie11@gmail.com.