By Pattie Mihalik

newsgirl@comcast.net

Yesterday started off on a high. I gave a talk to our church group and had a terrific audience response.

That was the nice side of the power of words.

But then I was faced with a big dilemma concerning my best friend who got carried away with having a microphone in front of her. I was greatly embarrassed in front of 100 people, but I asked myself this question: What’s more important — sharing my feelings or protecting our friendship?

I decided to shut up and protect the friendship.

But that problem is persisting, and I am again faced with the dilemma. Part of me thinks I should forget it. The rest of me says, Shouldn’t friends be honest with each other?

I am siding toward saying nothing because words are powerful, and once they are said cannot be taken back.

Today I had an email, “Have You Heard the birds sing?” They send weekly inspirational messages, and this time it hit home.

This is what it said:

“Something I learned a long time ago is that people are more important than ideas. This is a principle that should not be forgotten. But just the other day I hurt someone’s feelings because I was upset about an idea.

“We shouldn’t hurt the people we care about over some idea, no matter what it is.

“People are living beings, living souls. We have all been hurt at one time or another and we don’t like it. We should not hurt others.

“People are more important than ideas.”

Well, with those words on that inspirational site I confirmed my decision to say nothing. Feelings will settle down and my friend and I will go back to normal — as long as hurtful words aren’t said.

There is one place where hurtful words reign supreme, and that’s on social media. Just because people can hide behind a computer screen and anonymity, they think they can hurl hurtful words like bullets on a firing range.

If they disagree with a post that has absolutely nothing to do with them they jump in and attack viciously.

Let me give you two examples.

My friend Bobbi Sue is one of the most altruistic people I know. Even though she is suffering from painful cancer she lives her life for others. Specifically, her mission is helping the poor.

There was a time when Bobbi Sue was a single mother with five kids living in a car. They had absolutely nothing, not even a roof over their head.

Eventually Bobbi Sue did have a house. But she couldn’t forget there were hurting people out there in the same sad straits she was once in.

“Why,” she asked on social media, “do some people have an excess of everything and others have nothing?”

Bobbi Jo started a nonprofit dedicated to raising money to help the poor. It’s been hugely successful.

One of the things she does every Tuesday night is to have a potluck dinner for the homeless and the struggling poor. She puts the word out on social media and others bring donations of cooked food for the homeless.

One guy went ballistic because he disagreed with helping the homeless. He went on a personal diatribe against Bobbi that was absolutely vicious.

She answered his rant with her own tearful video, saying she wasn’t going to stop helping people because it offended someone. But she’s been cut to the quick by his words.

In another case a neighbor of mine came home a few weeks ago to find an 11-foot alligator had busted through her pool cage and was swimming in her pool. Of course she called animal control.

That was three week ago and social media is still ablaze with attacks on her for being responsible for the death of the alligator.

One guy wrote to her on social media and asked: “How does it feel to be a murderer? That’s what you are. You knew they would kill the alligator when you called.”

And that was mild compared to some of the posts against her.

She wrote back asking people why they felt so compelled to attack anyone who doesn’t agree with their views.

Exactly.

I was tempted to write to ask those protesting the treatment of the alligator to give me their names and phone numbers so I can call them if I ever had a nuisance alligator on my property. Then they can come deal with it.

I didn’t do it because I’m shying away from social media sites like that.

One of my friends left that popular community site — a site we all used to love, by the way — to start her own discussion page.

“I wanted a place for people to share ideas without being attacked,” she said.

She, too, asks, “Why can’t we be civil with each other? Whatever happened to kindness and courtesy?”

I have that same question. For the past few years it’s only been political opinions that started wars on social media sites. Now, it’s expanded to everything and anything.

As for me personally, I’m joining the kindness movement. There are plenty of good people there, and that’s where I’m hanging out.

It’s true that words are powerful. We can use words to build people up, to encourage them when they’re down and to improve life for others.

And sometimes, kindness means not saying anything at all.

Contact Pattie Mihalik at newsgirl@comcast.net.