By PATTIE MIHALIK

newsgirl@comcast.net

I got an email from my friend Pat that made me smile.

Pat just went on a dinner date, her first in many decades. Now 80 years of age, she lost her husband 11 years ago. Since then she has devoted herself to volunteering long hours at a charity for the poor.

The guy who asked her to go on a dinner date no doubt noticed that Pat is a caring person who radiates goodness.

I am so happy for all of that.

I also heard my friend Lois just got engaged. At 78, She was just given a beautiful chocolate diamond to celebrate her new life with a guy she reluctantly starting dating a year ago.

She was reluctant, she said, because she was grieving the loss of her husband of 52 years. She wondered if people starting dating again “at her age.”

I told her to look around. Many of our friends were enjoying a new lease on life after they lost their mates to either death or divorce.

It is no longer uncommon for people in their 60s, 70s, 80s and even 90s to enjoy new relationships. One of my friends met the woman he called “his sweetheart” when he was 90. They were one of the most popular couples in our dancing crowd and were together until he passed away at 98.

I don’t know if this happens in every state, but it sure does here in Florida. One reason might be that there are so many of us older folks in Florida.

But a bigger reason is that there has been a sea change in the attitudes of those past 65.

My husband commented that “in his parents’ day” there was no such thing as new relationships after a spouse died. “Most people were like my mother when my father passed away. They stayed alone until they died,” he noted.

Now, many of us are determined to live life to the fullest, and if that involves another relationship, we just say “thank you” and enjoy it.

For the past eight years David and I have both been enjoying a second marriage, so I guess we are part of that new era movement.

I remember the funny scene that happened when we went dancing right after we got engaged on New Year’s Eve. When we told friends at our table, they asked the bandleader to play a waltz for a couple who just got engaged.

I think some people were expecting to see a young couple on the dance floor. Instead they saw a white-haired guy and his fiancee happily waltzing across the floor.

We are both outdoor enthusiasts who like to be on the go all the time. We both know we are blessed to have found someone with whom to enjoy life more fully and actively.

When we are older it becomes more important to enjoy some of the same things as your partner. When we are still pursuing careers, there really isn’t much time to do leisure things together.

But that picture changes after retirement when there is so much leisure time to fill. Marriage counselors tell us that filling all that time can lead to conflict if both partners have different expectations. The happiest couples, they say, are definitely those who have fun together.

I’ve observed the same thing in the couples around me. Those who can have fun sharing some of the same activities seem to have more enjoyment in life.

I just did a story on an older couple that was married on Valentine’s Day. He is an avid golfer and most of his friends are golfers. Although his new wife never golfed, she said she decided it would be wise to learn to golf so she, too, can enjoy the same social scene as her husband.

“I’m a terrible golfer,” she said, “but I’m an excellent socializer, so it works for us.”

I never was much of a dancer when I was younger. Never played pickleball, never took a Zumba class and never tried paddle boarding. All that came after retirement.

Many of us find retirement is the Land of New Opportunities. We have time to do things we never did before. When we leave the house to join in leisure activities, that can also mean meeting new people. And that, in turn, might explain why many have ushered in a new era of relationships.

One woman I just met said I’m overlooking the real reason why older couples are finding new partners.

“It’s called the Internet,” she laughed. “Young folks aren’t the only ones taking advantage of social media to meet someone new.”

She went on to say she met her present husband because both used the same social media site. She wasn’t talking about dating sites.

They met at what is called a meetup.

Meetups take place in many communities and can center on meeting others for dinner, joining with a walking group or sharing some other activity.

Anyone savvy enough to explore Internet sites can find meetup groups for just about any activity. Or, you can start a meetup group of your own just by posting a notice on a Facebook community page like we have in my development.

It’s a new era all right, and it all adds up to wonderful new social opportunities.

Contact Pattie Mihalik at newsgirl@comcast.net.