BY PATTIE MIHALIK

A few weeks ago I shared with readers a problem I was experiencing with the contractor I hired to remodel my bathroom shower.

Jason gave me a contract that said he would be finished in two weeks when full payment would be expected.

But one day he pulled up with a truck that sounded like a few motorcycles were idling in my driveway. He told me he couldn’t go to pick up my shower door to finish the job because his truck needed to be fixed first.

But the problem was he first needed money to pay for the needed parts. When he asked me to pay him in advance so he could fix the truck, I didn’t see any problem in that.

After all, he was almost finished with the bathroom and he seemed like a nice guy, definitely someone I could trust.

As some of my readers might recall, the day I gave Jason the money was his last day on the job. He simply walked away from finishing my bathroom and went on, instead, to work for someone else.

No matter how many times I called or emailed, he ignored me. It was two months after the bathroom was supposed to be finished and I couldn’t use it until he installed the faucet and shower door.

When I did manage to track him down, Jason said he would be there the next day. He never showed up.

I realize I created that problem for myself by trusting Jason and paying him before the job was finished.

Sometimes trying to be nice backfires. And it sure did that time. I was at the point where I had to do something desperate and thought I might have to call the police and report Jason for fraud.

When I wrote a column about that situation, I received a lot of feedback from readers. Everyone who wrote agreed that I allowed myself to get into that mess by paying for the complete job before it was finished.

Most readers suggested I call the police or take Jason to small claims court. They also agreed I should let him know I would use our local social media site to alert others not to pay in advance.

But two longtime readers agreed with my daughter who said I needed to give him a way to finish the job while saving face.

“Everyone wants to feel like he’s a good person. He’s staying away because when he sees you he’s reminded of what he did,” wrote one reader.

“He won’t show up if he’s ashamed of what he did,” wrote another gentleman.

Both of them suggested I find a way to get him there without feeling like a creep.

My close friend Andy, who was the one who recommended Jason, said I needed to shower him with kindness, no matter how hard it was.

“Anyone can be kind when it’s easy,” Andy told me. “It’s a mark of character when you can be kind under tough circumstances.”

Well, what I came up with was sending Jason an email saying he didn’t have to pick up the new door. My husband would do it and would be there to help him install it. I set a date (this past Tuesday) and said my husband would be here to help him carry in the heavy shower door and would steady it while he put it up.

Lo and behold, Jason showed up. He only worked for an hour then said he had to go home for a level. I couldn’t believe it when he didn’t come back for 2½ hours because he said he decided to take his wife out for lunch. That meant he couldn’t finish putting up the door.

Being kind was getting harder.

Jason said he would be back in a week because he had to finish a job for a guy who was paying him cash. I had to hold my tongue from asking if he thought I paid him in macaroni, not cash.

I had to hold my tongue again when he bragged that he got another bathroom and a flooring job finished in the weeks he stood me up. (They weren’t foolish enough to give him all his money up front.)

I kept doing an internal chant: “It will soon be over.”

Well, he eventually finished the job. I think he was as happy as I was when he walked out the door.

Two good things came from that. I felt good about taking the high road and I learned a valuable lesson. No more payment until the job is finished.

We need to be kind because that’s the kind of people we are, not because of the person causing us grief.

I learned that when I take the high road I’m the one who benefits. I’m given the gift of peace.

Sometimes, when we encounter disagreeable people we think we need to give them a piece of our mind, calling attention to their rudeness.

What I learned is even disagreeable people respond to kindness. Try it when you encounter someone giving you a hard time.

Experts tell us being angry or telling someone off doesn’t make us feel better, as we might think it does. Instead, it leaves us physically and mentally bankrupt.

Just one more reason why it pays to opt for kindness.

Contact Pattie Mihalik at newsgirl@comcast.net.