Is it my imagination or are we having an intolerance crisis?

While I absolutely will never write about politics in any form, I need to talk about how intolerant we have become to other people's views. And believe me, I'm not just taking about political views.There's an old expression that says let's agree to disagree and leave it at that. It used to work.I'll leave it up to you to decide if we can still politely agree to disagree without hard feelings.Well, I know it's still possible in many quarters. I just received a nice, polite email from a reader who disagreed with my disrespect for NFL player Colin Kaepernick because of his national anthem protest. To me, when Kaepernick refused to stand to show pride in the flag of our country, it was a put-down to those who suffered loss of limbs and those who lost their lives defending that flag.One reader wrote to express a differing opinion, pointing out that Kaepernick was just supporting a fundamental value of our county, justice for all. The NFL player was willing to take an unpopular stance that made him lose millions, the reader wrote, because he doesn't think blacks get equal justice.I liked that the reader took time to offer a differing opinion and I especially appreciate the polite way he did it.My friends and I are also far apart in our opinions about many things facing this country. But I am grateful we can air diverse opinions without hard feelings. I believe we do a great job "agreeing to disagree" without getting personally offensive.Unfortunately, that's not always the case.I see a loss of civility seeping into many facets of our social interaction.There seems to be much intolerance of ideas or beliefs contrary to our own. Too many times if we disagree with someone's viewpoint, we attack them personally.I guess the tipping point for me - the impetus to sit down and write this column - was a recent "discussion" on our community's Facebook page.Having our own Facebook site, open only to residents in our development, has been one gigantic step forward. If we would have had it a decade ago when I moved here it would have saved me plenty of headaches in finding the help I needed.When I "picked wrong" I had to suffer the consequences and start over.There was even a time when the police had to get involved because the guy I had doing my landscaping work ripped me off for $600. He took that money, supposedly for mulch and buying the palm tree I wanted. But he pocketed the money and did none of the work.The police told me I was the fourth person to file a complaint against him.If we would have had our community Facebook page at that time it never would have happened because residents are quite helpful in steering us to reliable people.But that wonderful site is disintegrating into intolerance for differing opinions.For instance, one woman wrote today about finding two venomous cottonmouth snakes in her swimming pool. I thought it incredible that she removed them herself.If I were the one to find them, I would still be screaming.But people verbally attacked her for killing the venomous snakes instead of just relocating them.The same thing happened when a neighbor called animal control to take away the 11-foot alligator at her doorstep. More than 40 people censured the neighbor because she was responsible for the death of the alligator, they said. The personal attacks on her were vicious until the administrator had to close the discussion.Why do we think everyone has to think the same and share the same opinions about everything?And why do we feel so free to attack any differing opinion?I go to an outstanding church with a women's group that is just as special. Part of each month's meeting involves breaking into small group discussions on the topic of the day.In my group, I happened to comment how blessed I felt to be given the gift of faith. It has been my refuge through so much of life. Most of all, it's been my joy.One woman insisted I was wrong to call faith a gift. "Faith is not a gift!" she insisted with surprising heat.That started a contentious discussion, all because someone objected to another person's viewpoint. And in my opinion, it was a rather innocuous viewpoint.It left me wondering, once again, why we feel so compelled to "correct" every voiced thought and action.I've seen that happen in so many community, civic and church groups. Disagreement often leads to personal verbal attacks, all because someone doesn't agree with a viewpoint.Listen to the conversations around you. You, too, might hear verbal clashes that never would have been aired years ago.Are we forgetting there's a difference between offering a dissenting opinion and personally tearing someone apart?My college grandson says he finds it enjoyable to debate viewpoints. He is always careful though to respect other viewpoints, even those with which he strongly disagrees. Heck, he even respects mine, even though he often thinks I'm misguided when it comes to some issues.My point is this: Debate? Sure.Disagree? OK.But let's not lose our civility.Contact Pattie Mihalik at

newsgirl@comcast.net.