Dear Kids,

I don't know if the long winter has been getting to you, you've got a little cabin fever, your vitamin D levels are a little low from not getting enough sunshine, whatever it is, I've noticed a little trend that we need to talk about.Lately, it seems that every small grievance you have or small offense you feel has been committed against you merits a full-blown tantrum. We are going to need to dial that back a little bit.Here is a quick guide to when you are and when you are not entitled to an absolutely bat-poop-crazy-meltdown:• You may not have a tantrum when a sibling is caught "looking at you." They have eyes, they live in the same house, you have frequent contact with each other. Chances are pretty good you're going to cross their field of vision at some point."Looking at you" is not a tantrum-worthy offense. This will only become one when they have the capability of shooting lasers out of their eyes at you. At that point, feel free to complain about it. This situation also applies to a sibling who is "touching you," "breathing on you," "breathing near you," and "thinking about looking at/touching/breathing on you."• You may not have a tantrum when the clothes you put on are too big or too small. Here's the deal. Boys, you are 18 months apart and have reached the point where when one of you outgrows an item, the other one is simultaneously growing into it.The process is that I will notice you wearing something that is getting too small for you. When that item cycles through the wash, I will attempt to move it to your sibling's laundry pile. Occasionally, it takes a time or two to get it straight. Occasionally, I forget that I've given a favorite shirt to a sibling and out of habit, return it to the original owner's drawer. Please don't throw a hissy fit.Additionally, between the three of you, you are on many of the same sports teams, and have similar uniforms that are all different sizes. Your school uniforms are all the same: khakis and blue or white polos. Mix-ups happen, especially when your dad tries to help with the laundry, bless his heart.When you are faced with clothes that don't fit, do not tear at the clothes in an attempt to make them bigger, do not scream and yell and carry on in a manner that makes me think that your clothes have grown tiny teeth and are eating you alive. Simply take off the offending clothes and politely say, "Mom, I do not think these are my clothes. Can you please help me?"• You may not have a tantrum because you don't like peas, pork chops or the color of your plate. We've been together since you were born. I am well aware of every single one of your likes and dislikes when it comes to meal time. The thing is, it's my job as your mom, to keep you healthy, to be sure that you're exposed to a variety of flavors, and that you learn how to tolerate and deal with things you don't like. As easy as it would be to serve you chicken fingers and mac and cheese every night, it's not going to happen.The choices in our house are eat it or starve, just like they've always been. Between the three of you, someone does like peas, and someone does like pork chops, and there are probably 20 things that you like that they don't.I recognize that and don't expect you to eat an entire plate full of food you hate, but I do expect you to treat your meal with respect and at least try everything on your plate. Here's a secret: If you politely try something and don't like it, I'm not going to force you to eat more. When you create a scene and act like a raving lunatic because there is a carrot on your plate and it's touching your chicken finger, next time, you're probably going to get an extra helping of carrots. We parents can be a little vindictive that way.• You may not have a tantrum when you are asked to do regular tasks that are your responsibility and are expected of you every day. These are tasks you have done a hundred times before, and will most likely spend the rest of your time under my roof doing regularly. While I respect your right to voice your opinion that "doing homework is unfair" and "cleaning your room is the meanest, worst thing ever" (well at least it was until I asked you to put away your laundry), after you get done running off at the mouth, you're still going to be stuck doing it.Also, while you were ranting at me, I wasn't listening to a word you were saying. I was busy coming up with five more things that I think you need to do before you can watch TV/play video games/play with your dolls/etc. So, the less time you spend ranting and raving over how much you hate to fold your socks, the less time I will have to decide that you need to put the dishes away, too, and the sooner you can get back to being the boss of you.So, there you have it. My not-exhaustive list of when not to throw a tantrum. I did say I would provide a list of when you can throw a tantrum, and right now, other than the laser beam thing, I can't really think of when a tantrum is appropriate, but if I come up with one, I'll be sure to let you know.Springtime, and better moods, are right around the corner, kids! We can do this!Love, MomLiz Pinkey is a contributing writer to the Times News. Her column appears weekly in our Saturday feature section.