I was sitting outside on my porch trying to decompress after a very long and stressful day when I noticed a bird land on one of the telephone wires in front of my house.

It was a very drab brown and black and looked kind of dirty to me.Its feathers were a little ruffled and I thought to myself, "that is one ugly bird."As if that bird read my mind, it scooted itself about a foot and a half further across the line and promptly pooped on my car window.Ugly, telepathic AND mean-spirited.Let me tell you, I gave that bird the ol' Italian Malocchio (aka the evil eye), and if I had been in possession of a slingshot, it would have surely felt my wrath.Just as I was about to go into the house for some paper towels and Windex, the bird started to chirp and sing.I stopped in my tracks and turned around to look at the bird.It was all fluffy and the sound coming out of it was gloriously happy and melodious.I stood there for quite some time looking at and listening to it and … smiling.Given that bird's unattractive appearance, I was quite surprised at the beauty of its song; although I shouldn't have been.I mean, why would I assume that something that I deem "ugly" would be incapable of anything good or beautiful even?As if only beautiful birds sing beautiful songs.But that is how we are.We all think that way at one time or another, don't we, and it is that type of thinking that can lead to hurt feelings as well as missed opportunities.I was texting with a former co-worker today as we brought each other up to date on our lives.I shared a couple of photos with her, including a picture of my daughter in her prom dress.She told me how stunning she looked and then shared a heartbreaking story with me.Her daughter, who is the same age as mine, is an awesome kid.She is kind and smart and funny.She has a smile that will light up the darkest of rooms.However, while all of her girlfriends were dressing up like royalty to attend their prom, she was at home crying and hating every inch of her physical self.You see, despite all of her talents and amazing personality, it would appear that the boys in her school didn't find her attractive enough or worthy enough to ask her to the prom and she felt too insecure to be the only one in her group of friends to show alone.When none of their classmates would agree to take her, her friends evidently reached out to some boys from other schools.They told them all sorts of wonderful things about her and some were very interested in the idea, until they asked one simple question: "What does she look like?"Her friends showed them a picture of her; a young lady with long, brown hair and a brilliant smile who also happened to be overweight with a strong facial bone structure and a bad case of acne.Suddenly, all bets were off.How sad.And oh how this young lady loves to dance!She took dance lessons for many years and was quite good at it; but as she got older, the costumes selected for their recitals became more and more revealing, which made her feel uncomfortable.When people began making negative comments about her appearance and told her she needed to diet to look better in her costumes, she quit.Again, how sad.We all know the saying "true beauty lies within," but how many of us actually seek it out and teach our children to do the same?I wonder how many "undesirables" miss out on prom each year and end up suffering in silence and self-loathing, boys as well as girls.Sure, kids can be shallow, but so can the parents.I read a post on Reddit written by a 17-year-old boy who had been asked to prom by a girl from another school.He was very happy to take her to the prom, until his mother found out with whom he would be going.According to the young man, his mother began to scream at him hysterically, telling him to immediately cancel prom with her because she is "fat" and will bring his value down as a "handsome male."I really have to give credit to this young man, because he also stated in his post that he would be going with that young lady to the prom "with or without" his parent's approval.Bravo.Have you ever seen a "handsome" man or a "beautiful" woman married to or dating someone whom you may have deemed to be much less attractive and questioned why they were together?Perhaps they looked beyond the exterior and were blown away by the beauty within.Kindness is beautiful.Compassion is beautiful.Selflessness is beautiful.Intelligence is beautiful.Strength (the kind that comes from within) is beautiful.Courage is beautiful.Loyalty is beautiful.Humility is beautiful.Honesty is beautiful.Integrity is beautiful.Respect (for others as well as self) is beautiful.Dedication and perseverance is beautiful.The ability to make others smile and laugh is beautiful.The human spirit is beautiful.Passion and a zest for life is beautiful.I think it's truly important for us, as parents, to share images of what true beauty is with our children and perhaps change our own ideas of it as well.I love this quote by actress Salma Hayek: "People often say that 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder,' and I say that the most liberating thing about beauty is realizing that you are the beholder. This empowers us to find beauty in places where others have not dared to look, including inside ourselves."Perhaps that is where we all need to begin.